101
Blessed is he who in the Lord has become free of all the affairs of this vain life.
Blessed is he who has in mind the coming terrible judgement and tries to heal the wounds of his soul with tears.
Blessed is he who in tears has become like unto a cloud, and daily uses them to extinguish the fiery flame of the evil passions.
Blessed is he who excels in good measures of ascetic feats, hoping to receive from God the heavenly kingdom.
Blessed is he who like a fire is ablaze with love and has burned up in himself all impure thoughts and corruption of the soul.
Blessed is he who has found a choice heavenly pearl and, having sold all that he had on earth, has bought this one jewel.
Blessed is he who has found a treasure hidden in a field, rejoiced and cast aside all, and acquired this one piece of land.
Blessed is he who ceaselessly remembers the day of his departure and strives to be ready and fearless in that hour.
Blessed is he who finds boldness in the hour of his leave-taking, when the soul with fear and trembling bids farewell to the body, for the angels shall come to take his soul, to separate it from the body and place it before the throne at the immortal and terrible judgement place.
102
Adornment of our prayer, O Jesus, fortify our supplication, that it might ascend with Thee to Thy Father and obtain for us the object of our request!
Through Thy loving-kindness Thou defendest us before Thy Father, for Thou art the chosen sacrifice, offered for the world.
For Adam, who tasted the fruit, Thou didst embrace the pillar at the judgement place. For Adam's children, who sinned before Thee, the executioners pierced Thee with nails.
Thou hast taken upon Thyself the common debt of all in order to pay it back to Thy Father--pay back also, O guiltless Lord, those sins with which our freedom has indebted us.
Thou hast redeemed us from the curse of the law by Thy precious blood. Deliver also those redeemed by Thy blood from harsh justice.
May the debts of Thy servants not exceed the compassion of the kindhearted Lord, for no matter how great our errors might be, Thy loving-kindness is yet greater.
It is true that many, many debts are upon us, but Thou hast a multitude of compassions. And if truth itself should weigh them, then all our debts shall be less than Thy compassions.
Who shall set about weighing Thy compassions and comparing them to our iniquities? The mountains can be weighted, but Thy compassions are beyond measure.
Thy compassions are more precious than life, for life has its measure, but Thy compassions are immeasurable. May Thy compassions be also our rampart.
103
Arise, O soul that has grown old in sins, an renew thyself with repentance. From contrition and tears mix thyself an ointment and heal the wounds of the fallen image in thee. Call out from thy heart and expose thine iniquities, for the All-good One will spare thee who art fallen.
Thou hast loved beauty that is deceptive and transitory and ruined thine own beauty, O daughter of the light. The temple of thy body is disfigured with the recklessness to which thou hast enslave thyself.
Woe art thou, who art miserable! How long shalt thou occupy thyself with things that are transitory? Shudder and be horrified by the fire that thou hast kindled with thine errors.
The hideous sins that thou hast committed from thy youth have accumulated, rising higher than thy head. They have plunged thee into despair, and that is why thou art indifferent to repentance.
Remember that thou art held captive by lust. Remember that desire slew thy mother. How longsuffering the Good One is with thee, yet dost thou wallow in a sea of sin!
Can it be that thou dost not fear the day when thy sores and thy secrets shall be revealed? Who will defend thee in that place where every man will be preoccupied with his own judgement?
Thy possessions have made thee a hollow image; they have ruined thee and left thee.
O great Hope, Who hast appeared unto us in the last days, spare this soul that has withdrawn from Thee! I am Thy sheep, but long have I wandered far from Thee, serving the evil one. Go forth, O Lord and seek me out. Seek out Thy dominion, for in vain cares have I squandered Thy wealth!
For the sake of sinners didst Thou bear Thy cross, and I am one of them: turn not away from me. We are Thy dominion, but the Evil One has stolen us away. Rebuke him and take from him that which he has capture. Have mercy on me, O Lover of mankind, for I have no other hope but Thee.
Praise be to Thy compassions, O all-merciful Son of God, for Thou art long-suffering toward sinners. Thanks be to Thee from those who had perished, whom Thou didst gather together and bring to repentance.
104
How great is the grace of the God! How great is God's love for mankind! How He desires and encourages all men to save themselves! O Lord, spare also me, Thy useless servant; O merciful Christ our Savior, spare Thy creature.
If Thou, O Lord, wilt not give me who am miserable understanding, nor enlighten my heart, then, due to my great indifference, shall I be unable to recognize my ruin and decay.
Because I am trapped by the merciless enemy who oppresses me, with tears do I ceaselessly cry day and night to Thy goodness to deliver me from his snares. For hourly does he renew the trickery he wields against me; hourly does he disturb my soul with wanton thoughts and desire for pleasure.
May Thy power, O Christ, that rebuked the waves of the sea also rebuke him, that he may have no influence on me, Thy useless servant. Be quick to send, O Master, Thy grace, that it might drive away from Thy servant the great serpent and all his defilements and evil thoughts. For the wounds that his arrows have inflicted on my heart have become fetid sores, and I in my folly try to hide them every way I can.
The good Physician calls me and demands no payment, nor does he spill my blood. But my slothfulness prevents me from going to Him. He comes Himself to heal me, but always finds me engaged in acts and prevent His remedies from rendering me their healing power.
O Lord, enlighten and sober me. Cure me and I will be cured!
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Sunday, April 06, 2008
A Spiritual Psalter from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian
97
Accept from all of us , O our Lord, our prayer and service and supplication. Grant us hearts filled with love and the spirit of patience in sufferings.
May our mouths which confess the faith and our voices be lyres of praise. May the vigilance and labor that our bodies endure make Thee merciful in regard to our sins.
May our mouths that serve as lyres for Thee and our tongues that sing Thee praise not issue tormented cries, O Lord, for Thou hast vouchsafed them to sing Thee praise.
May our eyes that kept vigil though they were heavy-laden with sleep and our legs that exhausted themselves in standing before Thee not be deprived of hope, and may they not lose their reward in the day of reckoning.
May the sounds of our mouths and our songs not be turned into sobs and weeping; but according to Thy compassion, loving-kindness and goodness, accept our vigilance.
Vouch that we may stand before Thee with one soul, with a clean heart, and in harmony may we offer to Thee, O Lord, and to Thy Father and Thy Holy Spirit.
98
A mournful soul approaches Thee, O Holy Master, and with tears she falls down before Thy compassion.
Thou hast sworn by Thine Own Self that Thou desirest not the death of a sinner and would rather save him from his sins. And truly Thy goodness daily doth prevail over the errors of men. Thou hast mercy upon sinners just as Thou hast mercy upon those who walk in Thy commandments.
Thy compassion is everywhere declared in the Gospels and in the writings of the apostles. Thy holy fathers and teachers, both those who are named in the Church and those who are not, declare Thy compassion.
I know of the prodigal son, Manasseh, the thief, Zacchaeus, the publican, the harlot, the Canaanite woman, the woman with an issue of blood, the paralytic, the blind man, Jairus, and all whose stories have been written down--and I approach Thee.
Extend thy charity and accept me; quicken my mind and restrain me who often fall into my former iniquities and am mired in corrupt thoughts.
When thy grace comes to my heart she finds there the stench of corrupting thoughts. Therefore she instantly withdraws without finding an entrance or having an opportunity to enter and dwell in me as she would like.
Wash my heart with radiant bliss, that I might come to my senses and that Thy grace might make her dwelling in me, O all-compassionate Lord!
99
In a short time we shall pass through terrible and fearful places, and there is not one here who can avoid walking this path. There will b e no one there to accompany and assist us: neither parents nor brethren, nor friends, nor relatives, nor wealth, nor any other such thing.
If at that very hour we find ourselves stripped of God's protection, the princes of darkness shall certainly hold us back. They are unyielding and merciless; they fear not kings, nor do they respect masters; they honor neither the small nor the great. Only form those who live in piety do they withdraw in fear, allowing them free passage.
I imagine what this hour will be like and fall down before thy goodness, O Lord: give me not up to those who offend me, that Thine enemies might not boast that they have taken Thy servant, O good Lord. May they not gnash their teeth and terrify my sinful soul, saying: thou hast fallen into our hands, thou hast been handed over to us. That is the day for which we have waited.
No, O Lord, deal with me not according to mine iniquities and turn not Thy face away from me, Say not to me: Amen, I say to thee, I know thee not. Punish me, o Lord, according to Thy compassion, and may mine enemy not rejoice over me. Extinguish his fury, nullify all his actions, provide for me a path to Thee free from attacks and revilement.
Incline thine ear to my prayer, O good Lord, not because of my righteousness, but because of thy compassion and thy great mercy. Save my sorrowful soul from death. Thou art the Lord of all and Thou hast power over all creatures.
Thou hast said, O Lord: ask, and it shall be given to you: knock, and it shall be opened to you. Lo, I ask and I knock. Before my end comes, O Lord, cleanse me of all sin.
100
Get up, O soul. Thou hat slept till now in sin; shake off thy slumber; hurry, and seek refuge in repentance--and the Just One will perhaps be moved to mercy by thy tears. Put off from thy mind the veil of corruption, that thine eye might see rightly.
Hourly shed tears of contrition for thy shameful deeds before the Judge. And abyss of torment
awaits thee in return for thy deeds and thy depravity. Weep for thyself exceedingly, that the Just One might both hearken unto thee and make peace with thee.
Shudder, O unfortunate soul, and be terrified by the torments which thou hast prepared for thyself. Weep for thyself, thou who hast communed with the unclean powers, for the eternal fire shall follow thee everywhere. Deeply hast thou mired thyself in lust, and never didst thou break away from it.
Thy thoughts are encumbered with thorns and thistles, and thou hast yet to b ring forth fruits of repentance. The passions have convulsed thee like waves and drowned thy ship in a sea of sins.
Never didst thou b ring to mind that day when all that is hidden shall be subject to scrutiny. What wilt thou do when the voice, demanding that thou go to meet the Bridegroom, causes thee to tremble?
The light of thine eyes shall grow dark and vanish--and thou shalt be left outside with the foolish virgins.
Supply thyself with oil, O miserable soul, while there is still time to justify thyself. Beg for forgiveness of thy sins together with the harlot and heal thy wounds with thine own tears.
The door of repentance is yet open--enter and cleanse thyself from thy corruption.
Thou, who desirest the salvation of the sons of men, have compassion on this soul that has withdrawn from Thee. Accept her, O Lord, with Thy usual mercy. At the righteous judgement, may Thy compassion shelter me, who am sinful, and deliver me from torment.
Thou, who forgivest sins and freely grantest mercy, forgive me the sins of my soul at the righteous judgement! May the prodigals, whom Thou didst gather together and bring to repentance, exalt Thee.
Accept from all of us , O our Lord, our prayer and service and supplication. Grant us hearts filled with love and the spirit of patience in sufferings.
May our mouths which confess the faith and our voices be lyres of praise. May the vigilance and labor that our bodies endure make Thee merciful in regard to our sins.
May our mouths that serve as lyres for Thee and our tongues that sing Thee praise not issue tormented cries, O Lord, for Thou hast vouchsafed them to sing Thee praise.
May our eyes that kept vigil though they were heavy-laden with sleep and our legs that exhausted themselves in standing before Thee not be deprived of hope, and may they not lose their reward in the day of reckoning.
May the sounds of our mouths and our songs not be turned into sobs and weeping; but according to Thy compassion, loving-kindness and goodness, accept our vigilance.
Vouch that we may stand before Thee with one soul, with a clean heart, and in harmony may we offer to Thee, O Lord, and to Thy Father and Thy Holy Spirit.
98
A mournful soul approaches Thee, O Holy Master, and with tears she falls down before Thy compassion.
Thou hast sworn by Thine Own Self that Thou desirest not the death of a sinner and would rather save him from his sins. And truly Thy goodness daily doth prevail over the errors of men. Thou hast mercy upon sinners just as Thou hast mercy upon those who walk in Thy commandments.
Thy compassion is everywhere declared in the Gospels and in the writings of the apostles. Thy holy fathers and teachers, both those who are named in the Church and those who are not, declare Thy compassion.
I know of the prodigal son, Manasseh, the thief, Zacchaeus, the publican, the harlot, the Canaanite woman, the woman with an issue of blood, the paralytic, the blind man, Jairus, and all whose stories have been written down--and I approach Thee.
Extend thy charity and accept me; quicken my mind and restrain me who often fall into my former iniquities and am mired in corrupt thoughts.
When thy grace comes to my heart she finds there the stench of corrupting thoughts. Therefore she instantly withdraws without finding an entrance or having an opportunity to enter and dwell in me as she would like.
Wash my heart with radiant bliss, that I might come to my senses and that Thy grace might make her dwelling in me, O all-compassionate Lord!
99
In a short time we shall pass through terrible and fearful places, and there is not one here who can avoid walking this path. There will b e no one there to accompany and assist us: neither parents nor brethren, nor friends, nor relatives, nor wealth, nor any other such thing.
If at that very hour we find ourselves stripped of God's protection, the princes of darkness shall certainly hold us back. They are unyielding and merciless; they fear not kings, nor do they respect masters; they honor neither the small nor the great. Only form those who live in piety do they withdraw in fear, allowing them free passage.
I imagine what this hour will be like and fall down before thy goodness, O Lord: give me not up to those who offend me, that Thine enemies might not boast that they have taken Thy servant, O good Lord. May they not gnash their teeth and terrify my sinful soul, saying: thou hast fallen into our hands, thou hast been handed over to us. That is the day for which we have waited.
No, O Lord, deal with me not according to mine iniquities and turn not Thy face away from me, Say not to me: Amen, I say to thee, I know thee not. Punish me, o Lord, according to Thy compassion, and may mine enemy not rejoice over me. Extinguish his fury, nullify all his actions, provide for me a path to Thee free from attacks and revilement.
Incline thine ear to my prayer, O good Lord, not because of my righteousness, but because of thy compassion and thy great mercy. Save my sorrowful soul from death. Thou art the Lord of all and Thou hast power over all creatures.
Thou hast said, O Lord: ask, and it shall be given to you: knock, and it shall be opened to you. Lo, I ask and I knock. Before my end comes, O Lord, cleanse me of all sin.
100
Get up, O soul. Thou hat slept till now in sin; shake off thy slumber; hurry, and seek refuge in repentance--and the Just One will perhaps be moved to mercy by thy tears. Put off from thy mind the veil of corruption, that thine eye might see rightly.
Hourly shed tears of contrition for thy shameful deeds before the Judge. And abyss of torment
awaits thee in return for thy deeds and thy depravity. Weep for thyself exceedingly, that the Just One might both hearken unto thee and make peace with thee.
Shudder, O unfortunate soul, and be terrified by the torments which thou hast prepared for thyself. Weep for thyself, thou who hast communed with the unclean powers, for the eternal fire shall follow thee everywhere. Deeply hast thou mired thyself in lust, and never didst thou break away from it.
Thy thoughts are encumbered with thorns and thistles, and thou hast yet to b ring forth fruits of repentance. The passions have convulsed thee like waves and drowned thy ship in a sea of sins.
Never didst thou b ring to mind that day when all that is hidden shall be subject to scrutiny. What wilt thou do when the voice, demanding that thou go to meet the Bridegroom, causes thee to tremble?
The light of thine eyes shall grow dark and vanish--and thou shalt be left outside with the foolish virgins.
Supply thyself with oil, O miserable soul, while there is still time to justify thyself. Beg for forgiveness of thy sins together with the harlot and heal thy wounds with thine own tears.
The door of repentance is yet open--enter and cleanse thyself from thy corruption.
Thou, who desirest the salvation of the sons of men, have compassion on this soul that has withdrawn from Thee. Accept her, O Lord, with Thy usual mercy. At the righteous judgement, may Thy compassion shelter me, who am sinful, and deliver me from torment.
Thou, who forgivest sins and freely grantest mercy, forgive me the sins of my soul at the righteous judgement! May the prodigals, whom Thou didst gather together and bring to repentance, exalt Thee.
Friday, April 04, 2008
A Spiritual Psalter from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian
93
There will come a time filled with fear and trembling, when all that each person has done in secret and in darkness shall be revealed--woe to the soul that does not have the Lord as her helper.
My heart sighs and my eyes long for tears, but my sin holds my mind captive, that I might not feel contrition and beseech the Lord not to cast me not outer darkness.
While we yet have strength, let us work for the Lord in rightness of heart, that in the time of sorrow we might have Him as our helper Who shall deliver us from all misfortune.
Like a man who walks with a candlestick and gives light to those who are with him, so does virtue, which always carries glory with it, also give light.
Until you resolved in your mind finally to leave this life and to consider this world and its glory but a despoiled tabernacle--until such a time, it will be impossible to overcome the earthly passions and worldly lusts that plunge a man into utter destruction and ruin.
It does not take a great effort to lay a foundation, but it is difficult to complete the building. The taller the building, the more work it presents for the builder right up until it is finished.
This is what happens to those who come to work for the Lord: first there is temptation, then sorrows, and next follow labor, despondency, nakedness, suffering, lack of privacy and humiliation. He will prevail who with all his heart dedicates himself to God's guidance and God's will. god requires from us only our consummate determination; it is He Who gives us strength and grants us victory.
94
Praise to the All-good One, Who because of His love has revealed glory to the sons of men! From dust did He create a voiceless being and adorn him with a soul, a proprietress of heavenly treasures.
He gave these lips of dust the capacity to magnify Him, so that through them all creation might sing praise unto Him.
Come, ye who are endowed with speech, let us sing praise unto Him until we repose in the sleep of death.
Every night shall we contemplate death which will stop our lips and lay silence upon us.
The righteous who spent their nights in vigilance live even dafter death; but the lawless, who reject the glory of the Son of God, are already dead while they yet live.
Let us rouse our bodies with psalms and spiritual hymns that we might join the wise virgins whom our Lord praised, and in vigilance behold His glory in the night that will cause the world to tremble.
Let us not wallow in pleasures, that we might behold His glory in the day of His coming. Let us stand before Him as watchful servants, ready for the hour when He will bring the sons of men to the judgement.
The body that burdened itself with prayer shall soar through the air on the day of the resurrection; without shame shall it behold its Lord; with Him shall it enter into the habitation of light, where it will be cherished by the angels and by those who here burdened themselves with vigilance and prayer.
Blessed is He Who made us instruments of His glory and put exaltation in our unworthy lips! Praise be to His compassion, for He has made those who were of dust concelebrants with the angels, that every night and at all times they might sing His holy name.
95
Praise God in the morning, ye children of the Church. Every morning let us exalt the Good One and worship Him, Who arranged the luminaries in the day and night skies.
When the veil of night is lifted and God's light has shone forth over creation, the arrival of morning wakes those who sleep. May Thy light, O Lord, irradiate our hearts.
Thyself, O our Lord, teach us to exalt Thee and put life in our souls. As Thou hast let us out of darkness, so also deliver us from gehenna.
According to Thy mercy, nourish the children of the Church, who have cleaved themselves unto Thee. May Thy loving-kindness be our helper, O Lord of the morning and the evening.
May Thy grace, O Lord, accompany us and lead us to the great morning. May Thy generous right hand shower us with blessings and bring us across the sea of fire.
May heaven and earth and all that is within them together exalt Thee at our return. Exaltation to Thee, to the Father Whom we worship, to Thine Only-begotten Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
96
Every evening mayest Thou be praised from the lips of all men! Thou gavest them the day to labor and work to acquire nourishment. Now, exhausted by their heavy labor, they thank Thee for granting them rest.
Who shall not worship Thee, Who carest for us men with such love? Thou leadest out the stars and causest the approach of evening which brings a halt to the day-long labors of those who have exhausted themselves with work.
The evening comes and consoles those who, in their struggle with hunger and thirst, have wearied and exhausted themselves with labor. Evening time comes and gladdens the world and its toilers.
Blessed is Thy greatness, that has from the beginning been ever mindful of us men!
Thou providest rest for both men and beasts in the the evening time. May Thy Cross, O Lord, which is the seal of the Church and protects Here children from Satan and his warriors, be the comfort of Thy sheep, whom Thou hast redeemed with Thy life-creating blood!
Send Thy peace, O Lord, to all the ends of the universe, and may the Evil One flee from our midst.
May every tongue and every mouth offer Thee praise from all the ends of the earth.
With them do we also glorify Thee, O Lord, and Thy Father and the Holy Spirit.
There will come a time filled with fear and trembling, when all that each person has done in secret and in darkness shall be revealed--woe to the soul that does not have the Lord as her helper.
My heart sighs and my eyes long for tears, but my sin holds my mind captive, that I might not feel contrition and beseech the Lord not to cast me not outer darkness.
While we yet have strength, let us work for the Lord in rightness of heart, that in the time of sorrow we might have Him as our helper Who shall deliver us from all misfortune.
Like a man who walks with a candlestick and gives light to those who are with him, so does virtue, which always carries glory with it, also give light.
Until you resolved in your mind finally to leave this life and to consider this world and its glory but a despoiled tabernacle--until such a time, it will be impossible to overcome the earthly passions and worldly lusts that plunge a man into utter destruction and ruin.
It does not take a great effort to lay a foundation, but it is difficult to complete the building. The taller the building, the more work it presents for the builder right up until it is finished.
This is what happens to those who come to work for the Lord: first there is temptation, then sorrows, and next follow labor, despondency, nakedness, suffering, lack of privacy and humiliation. He will prevail who with all his heart dedicates himself to God's guidance and God's will. god requires from us only our consummate determination; it is He Who gives us strength and grants us victory.
94
Praise to the All-good One, Who because of His love has revealed glory to the sons of men! From dust did He create a voiceless being and adorn him with a soul, a proprietress of heavenly treasures.
He gave these lips of dust the capacity to magnify Him, so that through them all creation might sing praise unto Him.
Come, ye who are endowed with speech, let us sing praise unto Him until we repose in the sleep of death.
Every night shall we contemplate death which will stop our lips and lay silence upon us.
The righteous who spent their nights in vigilance live even dafter death; but the lawless, who reject the glory of the Son of God, are already dead while they yet live.
Let us rouse our bodies with psalms and spiritual hymns that we might join the wise virgins whom our Lord praised, and in vigilance behold His glory in the night that will cause the world to tremble.
Let us not wallow in pleasures, that we might behold His glory in the day of His coming. Let us stand before Him as watchful servants, ready for the hour when He will bring the sons of men to the judgement.
The body that burdened itself with prayer shall soar through the air on the day of the resurrection; without shame shall it behold its Lord; with Him shall it enter into the habitation of light, where it will be cherished by the angels and by those who here burdened themselves with vigilance and prayer.
Blessed is He Who made us instruments of His glory and put exaltation in our unworthy lips! Praise be to His compassion, for He has made those who were of dust concelebrants with the angels, that every night and at all times they might sing His holy name.
95
Praise God in the morning, ye children of the Church. Every morning let us exalt the Good One and worship Him, Who arranged the luminaries in the day and night skies.
When the veil of night is lifted and God's light has shone forth over creation, the arrival of morning wakes those who sleep. May Thy light, O Lord, irradiate our hearts.
Thyself, O our Lord, teach us to exalt Thee and put life in our souls. As Thou hast let us out of darkness, so also deliver us from gehenna.
According to Thy mercy, nourish the children of the Church, who have cleaved themselves unto Thee. May Thy loving-kindness be our helper, O Lord of the morning and the evening.
May Thy grace, O Lord, accompany us and lead us to the great morning. May Thy generous right hand shower us with blessings and bring us across the sea of fire.
May heaven and earth and all that is within them together exalt Thee at our return. Exaltation to Thee, to the Father Whom we worship, to Thine Only-begotten Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
96
Every evening mayest Thou be praised from the lips of all men! Thou gavest them the day to labor and work to acquire nourishment. Now, exhausted by their heavy labor, they thank Thee for granting them rest.
Who shall not worship Thee, Who carest for us men with such love? Thou leadest out the stars and causest the approach of evening which brings a halt to the day-long labors of those who have exhausted themselves with work.
The evening comes and consoles those who, in their struggle with hunger and thirst, have wearied and exhausted themselves with labor. Evening time comes and gladdens the world and its toilers.
Blessed is Thy greatness, that has from the beginning been ever mindful of us men!
Thou providest rest for both men and beasts in the the evening time. May Thy Cross, O Lord, which is the seal of the Church and protects Here children from Satan and his warriors, be the comfort of Thy sheep, whom Thou hast redeemed with Thy life-creating blood!
Send Thy peace, O Lord, to all the ends of the universe, and may the Evil One flee from our midst.
May every tongue and every mouth offer Thee praise from all the ends of the earth.
With them do we also glorify Thee, O Lord, and Thy Father and the Holy Spirit.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
A Spiritual Psalter from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian
89
O how insensitive I am! How coarse, how earth-like has my soul become! O dissolute heart, O lips filled with bitterness, O throat which is an open grave!
Why dost thou not remember, O soul, that thy departure approaches inescapably? Why dost thou not prepare for this journey? Why dost thou, with no pity for thyself, pursue ruin? Why dost thou bring upon thyself eternal torment? What art thou doing, O soul, that thou livest like a beast lacking reason and understanding?
Alas, how I choose darkness instead of light! How I prefer that pleasure which I have today and which tomorrow will be gone, above eternal and unutterable bliss!
Alas, how I agree to be dressed in a dark and gloomy garment rather than in a robe radiant like the sun! How I prefer the miserable dwelling places of hell over the heavenly kingdom!
Woe is me, a sinner! I on my own, voluntarily, knowingly cast myself into utter ruin.
Come at last to thy senses, O my soul; fear God and bravely take up the journey along the path of His commandments.
Understand, O soul, that this age is like unto a battlefield, and the cunning serpent endeavors to secure victory by any means. He is overthrown and reviled by some, but others does he himself overthrow and subject to reviling.
Some, who are deceived by him, are overcome; and others enter into battle with him and are crowned. Some, having tasted his bitterness, attain the delights of eternal life; and others, who have tasted his sensual sweets, obtain the bitterness of eternal torment.
Some, through their extreme abstinence, readily take the upper hand against him; and other,s because of their attachment to earthly things, are easily overcome by him. For those who love God with all their heart, warfare with him means nothing at all; but for those who love the world it is difficult and insuperable.
Comprehend, O pitiful sou, that the joy, splendor, and leisure of this age are filled with sadness and grief; but sorrows, deprivation and self-disparagement gain unutterable joy and eternal life.
Resolve to step upon the path that is strait and sorrowful and labor in silence, that when the hour of death and departure comes thou wilt not be found unprepared.
90
On my bed I meditated on Thee, Lover of me; and at midnight I arose to glorify Thy goodness. I recalled my debts and my sins and shed streams of tears. They reassured me--the thief, the publican, Mary the harlot, the Canaanite woman, and even the woman with an issue of blood and the Samaritan woman by the well. They said to me: Get up, beg for mercy--your Lord is plenteous in mercy.
David, the son of Jesse, called out to me in his psalms; he awoke me from the sleep that burdened my limbs and said to me: Get up, O man. Why do you sleep? the Judge accepts offerings at midnight. Get up, pray, and ask for forgiveness. The kindhearted Lord will rejoice in you. His door is open to the penitent day and night.
At night, as I rested on my bed, I recalled my debts and sins. Then terror embraced me and I cried out: alas, the terrible night and the darkness void of all light are approaching. Whosoever leads an illicit life shall not rejoice on the day of resurrection, but will ever remain in darkness.
David too lay awake on his bed at night, contemplated his iniquities and confessed his sins. At night he watered his bed with the tears of his eyes, and with sighs he prayed: I know, O Lord, mine iniquity, and my sin is before me continually. Against Thee only, O Lord, have I sinned--have mercy on me.
I call upon Thee, Father, Son and Holy Spirit; Thee do I beseech day and night--spare us. According to the multitude of Thy compassions, cleanse our sins and iniquities. Grant us, O Lord, health of soul and body; deliver us from the evil one and from his power and from his way and from all his snares, and refuse us no Thy compassion, neither by day nor by night.
91
Let us awake from sleep and with sighs call out to the Lord. Day and night let us labor, attending to our correction while our life still lasts, until the time comes when there will be no more place for repentance. Let us stand vigilant at the Bridegroom's door, that we might enter with the Bridegroom into Hiss bridal chamber and inherit eternal life.
come, let us all sing praises to God at night and imitate the hosts of angels who ceaselessly praise Him. And our Savior, when He arises and comes, accompanied by the angels, and sees our wakefulness and our vigilance, will call us his good servants and will seat us at His banquet.
With the righteous, who have pleased God day and night, let us labor in good things, beg our Lord for mercy; and, singing with David, let us say: at midnight I arose to give thanks unto Thee because of Thy righteous judgements. Spare me and have mercy on me and vouchsafe me the inheritance of Thy kingdom.
I will not cease to praise Thee, O our Lord. Ceaselessly will I sing of Thy glory, that Thy truth might not condemn me. I know the extent of my guilt. I know that if Thou dost punish me according to my sins, then my inheritance will be gehenna. Then all hope will be lost. My prayer will be silenced. Have mercy on me therefore, and forgive me my debts.
I slipped and fell into sin. Extend to me Thy right hand and I will arise, like the harlot in Simon's house, like the thief on the cross. Have mercy on me, Thou Who art kindhearted to sinners.
92
Woe is me, who am careless! Woe is me, who disregard my salvation! Woe is me, who sin knowingly! I know that I do evil, yet I do not withdraw from evil. Woe is me, for I have no justification! According to my words I am numbered at Thy right hand, but according to my deeds I stand at Thy left.
To Thee, O only Lord Who bearest no grudges, do I confess my sins. Even were I to keep silent, Thou, O Lord, knowest all, and nothing is hidden before Thine eyes. For Thou, O Lord, hast said by Thy Prophet: declare your sins beforehand and you will be justified. And so I will say: I have sinned, O Lord, and I am not worthy to look up and behold the heights of heaven because of the multitude of mine iniquities.
What am I to do, I who am the most miserable of all men? I shall weep over myself day and night, while there is yet time to offer tears....Grant me tears of contrition, O only good and merciful Lord, that with them I might gain from Thee purification from the defilement of my heart.
alas, thou hast sinned, O my soul! Repent, for our days pass like a shadow. In a short while thou wilt depart from here. Thou shalt pass through terrible places, O my soul. Do not postpone turning to the Lord day after day.
Woe is me, O my soul! thou hast driven God's mercy away from thyself with thy foul deeds. Give thyself no rest; day and night fall down before Him Who is Good and loves mankind, that thou mightest be given grace and mercy from on high.
O how insensitive I am! How coarse, how earth-like has my soul become! O dissolute heart, O lips filled with bitterness, O throat which is an open grave!
Why dost thou not remember, O soul, that thy departure approaches inescapably? Why dost thou not prepare for this journey? Why dost thou, with no pity for thyself, pursue ruin? Why dost thou bring upon thyself eternal torment? What art thou doing, O soul, that thou livest like a beast lacking reason and understanding?
Alas, how I choose darkness instead of light! How I prefer that pleasure which I have today and which tomorrow will be gone, above eternal and unutterable bliss!
Alas, how I agree to be dressed in a dark and gloomy garment rather than in a robe radiant like the sun! How I prefer the miserable dwelling places of hell over the heavenly kingdom!
Woe is me, a sinner! I on my own, voluntarily, knowingly cast myself into utter ruin.
Come at last to thy senses, O my soul; fear God and bravely take up the journey along the path of His commandments.
Understand, O soul, that this age is like unto a battlefield, and the cunning serpent endeavors to secure victory by any means. He is overthrown and reviled by some, but others does he himself overthrow and subject to reviling.
Some, who are deceived by him, are overcome; and others enter into battle with him and are crowned. Some, having tasted his bitterness, attain the delights of eternal life; and others, who have tasted his sensual sweets, obtain the bitterness of eternal torment.
Some, through their extreme abstinence, readily take the upper hand against him; and other,s because of their attachment to earthly things, are easily overcome by him. For those who love God with all their heart, warfare with him means nothing at all; but for those who love the world it is difficult and insuperable.
Comprehend, O pitiful sou, that the joy, splendor, and leisure of this age are filled with sadness and grief; but sorrows, deprivation and self-disparagement gain unutterable joy and eternal life.
Resolve to step upon the path that is strait and sorrowful and labor in silence, that when the hour of death and departure comes thou wilt not be found unprepared.
90
On my bed I meditated on Thee, Lover of me; and at midnight I arose to glorify Thy goodness. I recalled my debts and my sins and shed streams of tears. They reassured me--the thief, the publican, Mary the harlot, the Canaanite woman, and even the woman with an issue of blood and the Samaritan woman by the well. They said to me: Get up, beg for mercy--your Lord is plenteous in mercy.
David, the son of Jesse, called out to me in his psalms; he awoke me from the sleep that burdened my limbs and said to me: Get up, O man. Why do you sleep? the Judge accepts offerings at midnight. Get up, pray, and ask for forgiveness. The kindhearted Lord will rejoice in you. His door is open to the penitent day and night.
At night, as I rested on my bed, I recalled my debts and sins. Then terror embraced me and I cried out: alas, the terrible night and the darkness void of all light are approaching. Whosoever leads an illicit life shall not rejoice on the day of resurrection, but will ever remain in darkness.
David too lay awake on his bed at night, contemplated his iniquities and confessed his sins. At night he watered his bed with the tears of his eyes, and with sighs he prayed: I know, O Lord, mine iniquity, and my sin is before me continually. Against Thee only, O Lord, have I sinned--have mercy on me.
I call upon Thee, Father, Son and Holy Spirit; Thee do I beseech day and night--spare us. According to the multitude of Thy compassions, cleanse our sins and iniquities. Grant us, O Lord, health of soul and body; deliver us from the evil one and from his power and from his way and from all his snares, and refuse us no Thy compassion, neither by day nor by night.
91
Let us awake from sleep and with sighs call out to the Lord. Day and night let us labor, attending to our correction while our life still lasts, until the time comes when there will be no more place for repentance. Let us stand vigilant at the Bridegroom's door, that we might enter with the Bridegroom into Hiss bridal chamber and inherit eternal life.
come, let us all sing praises to God at night and imitate the hosts of angels who ceaselessly praise Him. And our Savior, when He arises and comes, accompanied by the angels, and sees our wakefulness and our vigilance, will call us his good servants and will seat us at His banquet.
With the righteous, who have pleased God day and night, let us labor in good things, beg our Lord for mercy; and, singing with David, let us say: at midnight I arose to give thanks unto Thee because of Thy righteous judgements. Spare me and have mercy on me and vouchsafe me the inheritance of Thy kingdom.
I will not cease to praise Thee, O our Lord. Ceaselessly will I sing of Thy glory, that Thy truth might not condemn me. I know the extent of my guilt. I know that if Thou dost punish me according to my sins, then my inheritance will be gehenna. Then all hope will be lost. My prayer will be silenced. Have mercy on me therefore, and forgive me my debts.
I slipped and fell into sin. Extend to me Thy right hand and I will arise, like the harlot in Simon's house, like the thief on the cross. Have mercy on me, Thou Who art kindhearted to sinners.
92
Woe is me, who am careless! Woe is me, who disregard my salvation! Woe is me, who sin knowingly! I know that I do evil, yet I do not withdraw from evil. Woe is me, for I have no justification! According to my words I am numbered at Thy right hand, but according to my deeds I stand at Thy left.
To Thee, O only Lord Who bearest no grudges, do I confess my sins. Even were I to keep silent, Thou, O Lord, knowest all, and nothing is hidden before Thine eyes. For Thou, O Lord, hast said by Thy Prophet: declare your sins beforehand and you will be justified. And so I will say: I have sinned, O Lord, and I am not worthy to look up and behold the heights of heaven because of the multitude of mine iniquities.
What am I to do, I who am the most miserable of all men? I shall weep over myself day and night, while there is yet time to offer tears....Grant me tears of contrition, O only good and merciful Lord, that with them I might gain from Thee purification from the defilement of my heart.
alas, thou hast sinned, O my soul! Repent, for our days pass like a shadow. In a short while thou wilt depart from here. Thou shalt pass through terrible places, O my soul. Do not postpone turning to the Lord day after day.
Woe is me, O my soul! thou hast driven God's mercy away from thyself with thy foul deeds. Give thyself no rest; day and night fall down before Him Who is Good and loves mankind, that thou mightest be given grace and mercy from on high.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
A Spiritual Psalter from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian
85
Blessed is he who contemplates the multitudes who rest in their graves and has rejected all fetid lust, for he will rise in glory when the heavenly trumpet is sounded to rouse all of the sons of men.
Blessed is he who hopes not on man, but on the Lord, Who is coming again with great glory to pass righteous judgement on the universe, for he will be like unto a tree growing by the waterside, and will bring forth fruit without ceasing.
Blessed is he whose mind has through grace become like a cloud full of rain watering the souls of mortals that they might cultivate the fruits of life, for grace will give him eternal praise.
Blessed is he who ever exercises restraint as God wills, for in the day of judgement God Himself will defend him. He will inherit the bridal chamber and will meet the Bridegroom with joy and gladness.
Blessed is he who has hated and left behind all the secular ways of men, whose every thought is about the one God.
Blessed is he who has hated pernicious sin and been repelled by it, and has loved instead the one good and man-befriending God.
Blessed is he who on earth has become like unto a heavenly angle and imitates the seraphim, whose thoughts are ever blameless.
Blessed is he who has become blameless before God and cleansed of all defilement--of wicked thoughts and deeds.
86
May Thy compassion be praised, O Christ our King, O Son of God worshipped by all! Thou art our King, Thou art our God, Thou art the author of our life and our great hope.
With one soul do both the heavenly hosts and the ranks below praise Thee and sing unto Thee a song of thanks, for Thou Who wast concealed hast in the last days appeared in the flesh of us mortals.
When Thy compassion was aroused and when it pleased Thy love to do so, Thou didst come for our redemption and liberate our race.
Thou didst cure our afflictions, cleanse our sins and, according to Thy Compassion, Thou didst raise those who were dead.
Thou didst establish on earth the holy Church in the image of the heavenly kingdom: Thou didst build her with love, establish her with compassion, and Thou didst spiritually betroth Thyself to her, and gain her by Thy suffering.
But the hater of mankind, in his shameless impudence, attacks her in the person of her servers.
O Lord, do not leave Thy holy Church without Thy care, that the promise that Thou didst utter concerning her invincibility may not be shown false.
Do not let her majestic beauty be disfigured or her wealth be stolen.
Fulfill Thy promise that Thou didst make to Peter; seal Thy words with deeds.
Fortify her gates, strengthen her bars, exalt her horn, raise up her head.
Bless her sons, preserve her children, give peace to her priests and subdue those who wish her evil.
May Thy peace dwell in her and drive away from her all evil schisms.
Grant that we may lead a calm, peaceful life in fear of Thee.
May we maintain our faith with great confidence and perfect love.
May our life be pleasing to Thee and may we find compassion in Thee in the day of reckoning.
May we ceaselessly bring praise to Thee, O Lord, and to Thy Father and to the Holy Spirit.
87
Thou Who art kindhearted to sinners, be merciful also to us in the day of judgement. Forgive us our debts according to Thy loving-kindness and in the day of Thy coming vouchsafe us Thy habitation.
When the multitudes to be judged tremble before the righteous judgement and stand before Thee stripped bare and in fear---then, O my Judge, have mercy on me for I have sung of Thy glory.
When the lips of the wise are stopped and Thy terrifying mighty scepter looms ominously before all, then may my lips be opened, for I have confessed Thee.
When neither friend nor acquaintance can save a man and every man is bought naked to account for himself--then, O Lord, be my intercessor, for I have hoped in Thee.
When the sound of the trumpet blares out, the nations shudder and every man is to receive reckoning according to his labors--then , O Lord, my helper, for to Thee do I run.
Accept our service, O Lord, hope of those above and hope of those below, and have mercy on us.
Be merciful to us, O Lord, be merciful to our parents; be merciful to our teachers, be merciful to our brethren.
Be merciful to us, O Lord, and give rest to our relatives who have reposed and to all who have died and did confess Thee, believe in Thee and taste Thy flesh and drink Thy life-creating blood.
Vouchsafe us together with Thy sheep to enter into Thy pasture, and together with Thy saints to offer Thee praise in accordance with Thy greatness unto the ages of ages.
88
O Good Mother of the All0good God: look upon the prayer of thine unworthy servant with thy merciful eye and grant me the contrition, quietness of thoughts, constancy of mind, chaste reason, sobriety of soul, humble thinking, radiance of spirit, prudent disposition, and spiritual peace that the Lord granted His disciples.
Blot out the record of my falls into sin, cleave the clouds of my sorrow, the haze and tumult of my thoughts. Remove from em the tempest and tumult of passions; enlarge my heart with spiritual breadth, give me joy and gladness and grant that I may walk the right path of Thy Son's commandments and properly pass through life without faltering and with an untainted conscience.
Also grant me who pray before thee pure prayer, that with an untroubled mind and concentrated thought I might always offer prayer to the honor, glory, and magnification of thine only-begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.
Blessed is he who contemplates the multitudes who rest in their graves and has rejected all fetid lust, for he will rise in glory when the heavenly trumpet is sounded to rouse all of the sons of men.
Blessed is he who hopes not on man, but on the Lord, Who is coming again with great glory to pass righteous judgement on the universe, for he will be like unto a tree growing by the waterside, and will bring forth fruit without ceasing.
Blessed is he whose mind has through grace become like a cloud full of rain watering the souls of mortals that they might cultivate the fruits of life, for grace will give him eternal praise.
Blessed is he who ever exercises restraint as God wills, for in the day of judgement God Himself will defend him. He will inherit the bridal chamber and will meet the Bridegroom with joy and gladness.
Blessed is he who has hated and left behind all the secular ways of men, whose every thought is about the one God.
Blessed is he who has hated pernicious sin and been repelled by it, and has loved instead the one good and man-befriending God.
Blessed is he who on earth has become like unto a heavenly angle and imitates the seraphim, whose thoughts are ever blameless.
Blessed is he who has become blameless before God and cleansed of all defilement--of wicked thoughts and deeds.
86
May Thy compassion be praised, O Christ our King, O Son of God worshipped by all! Thou art our King, Thou art our God, Thou art the author of our life and our great hope.
With one soul do both the heavenly hosts and the ranks below praise Thee and sing unto Thee a song of thanks, for Thou Who wast concealed hast in the last days appeared in the flesh of us mortals.
When Thy compassion was aroused and when it pleased Thy love to do so, Thou didst come for our redemption and liberate our race.
Thou didst cure our afflictions, cleanse our sins and, according to Thy Compassion, Thou didst raise those who were dead.
Thou didst establish on earth the holy Church in the image of the heavenly kingdom: Thou didst build her with love, establish her with compassion, and Thou didst spiritually betroth Thyself to her, and gain her by Thy suffering.
But the hater of mankind, in his shameless impudence, attacks her in the person of her servers.
O Lord, do not leave Thy holy Church without Thy care, that the promise that Thou didst utter concerning her invincibility may not be shown false.
Do not let her majestic beauty be disfigured or her wealth be stolen.
Fulfill Thy promise that Thou didst make to Peter; seal Thy words with deeds.
Fortify her gates, strengthen her bars, exalt her horn, raise up her head.
Bless her sons, preserve her children, give peace to her priests and subdue those who wish her evil.
May Thy peace dwell in her and drive away from her all evil schisms.
Grant that we may lead a calm, peaceful life in fear of Thee.
May we maintain our faith with great confidence and perfect love.
May our life be pleasing to Thee and may we find compassion in Thee in the day of reckoning.
May we ceaselessly bring praise to Thee, O Lord, and to Thy Father and to the Holy Spirit.
87
Thou Who art kindhearted to sinners, be merciful also to us in the day of judgement. Forgive us our debts according to Thy loving-kindness and in the day of Thy coming vouchsafe us Thy habitation.
When the multitudes to be judged tremble before the righteous judgement and stand before Thee stripped bare and in fear---then, O my Judge, have mercy on me for I have sung of Thy glory.
When the lips of the wise are stopped and Thy terrifying mighty scepter looms ominously before all, then may my lips be opened, for I have confessed Thee.
When neither friend nor acquaintance can save a man and every man is bought naked to account for himself--then, O Lord, be my intercessor, for I have hoped in Thee.
When the sound of the trumpet blares out, the nations shudder and every man is to receive reckoning according to his labors--then , O Lord, my helper, for to Thee do I run.
Accept our service, O Lord, hope of those above and hope of those below, and have mercy on us.
Be merciful to us, O Lord, be merciful to our parents; be merciful to our teachers, be merciful to our brethren.
Be merciful to us, O Lord, and give rest to our relatives who have reposed and to all who have died and did confess Thee, believe in Thee and taste Thy flesh and drink Thy life-creating blood.
Vouchsafe us together with Thy sheep to enter into Thy pasture, and together with Thy saints to offer Thee praise in accordance with Thy greatness unto the ages of ages.
88
O Good Mother of the All0good God: look upon the prayer of thine unworthy servant with thy merciful eye and grant me the contrition, quietness of thoughts, constancy of mind, chaste reason, sobriety of soul, humble thinking, radiance of spirit, prudent disposition, and spiritual peace that the Lord granted His disciples.
Blot out the record of my falls into sin, cleave the clouds of my sorrow, the haze and tumult of my thoughts. Remove from em the tempest and tumult of passions; enlarge my heart with spiritual breadth, give me joy and gladness and grant that I may walk the right path of Thy Son's commandments and properly pass through life without faltering and with an untainted conscience.
Also grant me who pray before thee pure prayer, that with an untroubled mind and concentrated thought I might always offer prayer to the honor, glory, and magnification of thine only-begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
A Spiritual Psalter from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian
81
Alas, I am an embarrassment to those who now respect me; may I not be ashamed before them when my hidden sins are revealed. I am an embarrassment to those who bore me; may they not later condemn me, who vowed not to live a worldly life.
I want to become like unto the widow who continually troubled the judge and achieved her goal. Before Thee, my All-Good Master, I want to be like Thine inseparable friend, that Thou mightest return my soul held captive by sins: he asked for bread to alleviate his hunger, and I ask for spiritual comfort. He asked for food for the flesh, and I ask Thee to summon my soul.
Because Thou art All-Good, hearken unto the voice of my tearful lamentation and convert me, that I might bring forth the fruit of repentance. Bedew my burning conscience; renew me who had grown old in sinful passions, that released from their slavery I might gladly breathe the air of freedom and glorify Thy goodness with joy and delight.
Thou knowest, O Master, that I dare thus address Thee, because my soul is prepared to labor if only a little. For I, a sinner, know that Thou art compassionate, O Lord, and that Thou wantest me to change my ways--Thou also desiresst the fruit of good will. Thou art ready to have mercy on me, but Thou awaitest a good disposition in me, for in Thy mercy wouldst Thou teach me good, and in Thy forgiveness dost Thou desire to make me worthy to partake of Thy kingdom.
82
Grant me, O Lord, both in wakefulness to stand pure before Thee, my Redeemer, and in slumber to partake of sleep without sin.
If in wakefulness I commit transgressions, may I be cleansed by Thy grace, O Lord. And if I sin while asleep, may Thy loving-kindness be unto me purification.
With the cross of Thy humility, make my sleep untroubled, preserve me from the iniquitous dreams of sleep and from the impure conjurings of the imagination. Grant that I might spend the whole night in peaceful sleep and that evil and deleterious thoughts might not take possession of me.
With Thy life-creating Body, of which I have partaken, preserve me from impure lust, that I might lie down and fall asleep in peace. May Thy Blood protect me. And grant my soul, that is Thine image, the freedom that is proper to Thine image. And my Thy right arm shelter my body that was made by Thy hands.
Encircle me with the wall of Thy compassions like a defensive shield. And when my body rests and sleeps, may Thy goodness be my guard, that the Evil One might not approach my bed. By the protection of the Mother who bore Thee, by the sacrifice that Thou hast offered for all men, I beseech Thee: drive away Satan, that he might no trouble me.
In me, O Lord, fulfill Thy promise and preserve my life by Thy Cross. I shall praise Thee when I awake for showing me who am miserable Thy love. May both those who sleep, resting in peace, and those who abide in wakefulness, girded by Thine armor, give praise to Thee, O Preserver Who livest eternally and Who hast aroused me to sing Thy glory.
83
Thy lips, O our Lord, have pronounced these promises: call Me and I will hearken unto you; knock at My door and I will open it.
Like the harlot do I call out to Thee: according to the superabundant compassion of Thy lovingkindness, forgive us our debts and our sins.
Like the publican do we beseech Thee, and like the prodigal son who squandered his inheritance do we call out to Thee, repenting in our soul: we have sinned against heaven and before Thee, O Lord.
Accept us, as thou hast promised, that the guardian angels and the archangels might rejoice over us. Thou who didst accept Simon's repentance, accept also the repentance of Thy servants and have mercy on us.
Come, O sinner who have sinned before the Lord, come to Him repenting in your soul, and He will forgive you your debts and your sins.
Shed tears at the Physician's door, sigh and beseech Him, who Him the scabs on your soul.
P:reserve your tongue from all manner of evil, and may your lips that were created for praise not pronounce words of blasphemy.
Forgive your brother if he has sinned against you, and Christ will forgive you as He has promised, according t His loving-kindness.
Have mercy on us, O our Lord, forgive us our debts and our sins and vouchsafe us Thy radiant habitation.
84
Before the wheel of time has completed its revolution with me--have mercy on me.
Before the wind of death has blown upon me and ailments have cropped up in my body foreboding the imminent end--have mercy.
Before the magnificent sun on high has grown dim before my eyes--have mercy, and may Thy light shine on me from on high and scatter the terrible darkness of my mind.
Before this dust has returned to the earth and decayed and all its beautiful features have rotted away--have mercy.
Before my sins have overtaken me at the judgement and shamed me before the Judge--have mercy on me, O Lord, Who art full of compassion.
Before the vanguard, preceding the Son of Heavenly King, marches forth to gather our miserable race before the Judge's throne--have mercy.
Before the sound of trumpets resounds portending Thy coming, O Jesus our Lord--spare Thy servants who beseech Thee and have mercy.
Before Thou hast shut Thy door against me, O Son of God, and I have become food for the inextinguishable fire of gehenna--have mercy on me.
Alas, I am an embarrassment to those who now respect me; may I not be ashamed before them when my hidden sins are revealed. I am an embarrassment to those who bore me; may they not later condemn me, who vowed not to live a worldly life.
I want to become like unto the widow who continually troubled the judge and achieved her goal. Before Thee, my All-Good Master, I want to be like Thine inseparable friend, that Thou mightest return my soul held captive by sins: he asked for bread to alleviate his hunger, and I ask for spiritual comfort. He asked for food for the flesh, and I ask Thee to summon my soul.
Because Thou art All-Good, hearken unto the voice of my tearful lamentation and convert me, that I might bring forth the fruit of repentance. Bedew my burning conscience; renew me who had grown old in sinful passions, that released from their slavery I might gladly breathe the air of freedom and glorify Thy goodness with joy and delight.
Thou knowest, O Master, that I dare thus address Thee, because my soul is prepared to labor if only a little. For I, a sinner, know that Thou art compassionate, O Lord, and that Thou wantest me to change my ways--Thou also desiresst the fruit of good will. Thou art ready to have mercy on me, but Thou awaitest a good disposition in me, for in Thy mercy wouldst Thou teach me good, and in Thy forgiveness dost Thou desire to make me worthy to partake of Thy kingdom.
82
Grant me, O Lord, both in wakefulness to stand pure before Thee, my Redeemer, and in slumber to partake of sleep without sin.
If in wakefulness I commit transgressions, may I be cleansed by Thy grace, O Lord. And if I sin while asleep, may Thy loving-kindness be unto me purification.
With the cross of Thy humility, make my sleep untroubled, preserve me from the iniquitous dreams of sleep and from the impure conjurings of the imagination. Grant that I might spend the whole night in peaceful sleep and that evil and deleterious thoughts might not take possession of me.
With Thy life-creating Body, of which I have partaken, preserve me from impure lust, that I might lie down and fall asleep in peace. May Thy Blood protect me. And grant my soul, that is Thine image, the freedom that is proper to Thine image. And my Thy right arm shelter my body that was made by Thy hands.
Encircle me with the wall of Thy compassions like a defensive shield. And when my body rests and sleeps, may Thy goodness be my guard, that the Evil One might not approach my bed. By the protection of the Mother who bore Thee, by the sacrifice that Thou hast offered for all men, I beseech Thee: drive away Satan, that he might no trouble me.
In me, O Lord, fulfill Thy promise and preserve my life by Thy Cross. I shall praise Thee when I awake for showing me who am miserable Thy love. May both those who sleep, resting in peace, and those who abide in wakefulness, girded by Thine armor, give praise to Thee, O Preserver Who livest eternally and Who hast aroused me to sing Thy glory.
83
Thy lips, O our Lord, have pronounced these promises: call Me and I will hearken unto you; knock at My door and I will open it.
Like the harlot do I call out to Thee: according to the superabundant compassion of Thy lovingkindness, forgive us our debts and our sins.
Like the publican do we beseech Thee, and like the prodigal son who squandered his inheritance do we call out to Thee, repenting in our soul: we have sinned against heaven and before Thee, O Lord.
Accept us, as thou hast promised, that the guardian angels and the archangels might rejoice over us. Thou who didst accept Simon's repentance, accept also the repentance of Thy servants and have mercy on us.
Come, O sinner who have sinned before the Lord, come to Him repenting in your soul, and He will forgive you your debts and your sins.
Shed tears at the Physician's door, sigh and beseech Him, who Him the scabs on your soul.
P:reserve your tongue from all manner of evil, and may your lips that were created for praise not pronounce words of blasphemy.
Forgive your brother if he has sinned against you, and Christ will forgive you as He has promised, according t His loving-kindness.
Have mercy on us, O our Lord, forgive us our debts and our sins and vouchsafe us Thy radiant habitation.
84
Before the wheel of time has completed its revolution with me--have mercy on me.
Before the wind of death has blown upon me and ailments have cropped up in my body foreboding the imminent end--have mercy.
Before the magnificent sun on high has grown dim before my eyes--have mercy, and may Thy light shine on me from on high and scatter the terrible darkness of my mind.
Before this dust has returned to the earth and decayed and all its beautiful features have rotted away--have mercy.
Before my sins have overtaken me at the judgement and shamed me before the Judge--have mercy on me, O Lord, Who art full of compassion.
Before the vanguard, preceding the Son of Heavenly King, marches forth to gather our miserable race before the Judge's throne--have mercy.
Before the sound of trumpets resounds portending Thy coming, O Jesus our Lord--spare Thy servants who beseech Thee and have mercy.
Before Thou hast shut Thy door against me, O Son of God, and I have become food for the inextinguishable fire of gehenna--have mercy on me.
Monday, March 31, 2008
A Spiritual Psalter from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian
77
Joseph, who bedewed his soul with remembrance of the Almighty, was not enkindled by the fire of iniquity; and, having conquered temptation, he became the king of Egypt.
Let us walk the strait path of sorrow, that we might become worthy and have God as our protector.
Pearls are always kept in the innermost vaults, but worthless stones are thrown out in the street as rubbish.
Cleanse yourself from shameful deeds with repentance, and the reproach of the slanderer will not frighten you.
With the help of the Divine fire, we must oppose the fire of passions. Until a brick is fired it is soft and brittle, but when submitted to fire it becomes a barrier against fire and watter.
Strive not to be a slave to your own will, but obey those who fear the Lord and, by God's mercy, you will crush the serpent's head.
Endure sorrow in the Lord, that joy might embrace you. Labor, that you might receive abundant reward.
Neither ridicule nor condemn those who fall into temptation; rather pray more frequently that you might not fall into temptation yourself.
A man who heart is clouded by a storm of thoughts and conquered by passions does not know shame before men, nor does he fear God.
Pray rather with an humble heart, and do not make yourself a den of thieves by indulging in indecent thoughts and desires, that you might not be ashamed in the day of judgement when men's secret will be revealed.
he who is negligent at harvests time will have no abundance for his household. And he who is careless now will find himself without the solace of the righteous in the day of reckoning.
78
O Lord! Show me Thy great lovingkindness and give me relief from the persecutions of the destroyer, for he has covered me with sores and he stands and mocks me.
As Thou didst tame the sea with one word from Thy lips when the disciples awakened Thee, so also hearken unto my groans and cries and tame the waves of the passions that move within me, aroused in my soul by the enemy of my salvation.
As the woman with an issue of blood was healed by merely touching the hem of Thy garment and straightway her blood ceased to flow, so also may my soul from which the enemy ceaselessly draws streams of sinful thoughts be healed by touching Thee just once through faith, O Physician of souls and bodies.
Demonstrate the healing power of faith in Thee, O Healer of all sicknesses, in the healing of my members which the enemy has covered with sores. Make my sores sores no long,er and instead cover them with virtues, that the enemy who has rejoiced at my ruin might then be ashamed.
O sinless Lamb, slaughtered for the salvation of the world and Creator of heaven and earth. Thy slave whom thou hast saved and given cause to rejoice shall ever praise Thy grace.
79
When Thou didst see, our Lord, that I had lost Thy glory, Thy love did not suffer it to be so. thou Who descendedst in Thy birth hast delivered me from Satan by Thy suffering and Thy death on the Cross.
But behold, I have sinned again and angered Thee and offended Thy name with the sins, transgressions and crimes I have committed. Woe is me, for I was ungrateful and have defiled myself with a multitude of wicked deeds!
I have wept and shed bitter tears while meditating on this fact. My meditation has transported me to fire, led me to a land of terror, carried me into a frightening and terrible abyss, cast me into flames and thrust me into darkness. My heart has felt all this, and I have sighed from fear and terror while contemplating this journey.
Carried away by these thoughts I have inspected the dwelling places of darkness. Then, sobbing and weeping, pained and sorrowing, have I condemned myself and bitterly exclaimed: woe is me, exceeding woe. What has justice prepared for me!
In terror I awoke as from a dream, but neither in waking was I delivered from torment of heart. I rent my garment, wept and sobbed: what have I done to my miserable self? I shall uncover my head like the harlot and confess my sins; with sighs shall I pray; I will turn my eyes into fountains of tears, that I might mourn for my unfortunate self.
I shall go to the publicans who are like me, I shall go to the sinners who repented. I will awaken my sleeping heart which has grown old in a multitude of evils. I will unite myself to the publicans and sinners and make myself like unto them. Like them shall I sob over the sins I have committed, that God's judgement might not be upon me and that I might not be tormented in the abyss of gehenna....
Vouchsafe me, O Lord, to love Thy love that comforts the saints and the righteous ones, who love non e other than Thee, O God, Who art magnanimous to the penitent, Who lovest the sinner who bedews his face with tears and bitterly mourns his transgression. Vouchsafe me, O Lord, the blessed repose that Thou hast prepared for all the saints.
80
be merciful, O Good One, to us who have freely chosen evil, the cause of all misery. The thoughts of our choosing are secret afflictions, and the deeds thereof are public afflictions. Such a choice brought on the first transgression of the law,, and all sin is a consequence thereof. Do Thou, O Pure One, purify our freedom, for now it is a fountain of turbid waters.
I wonder at our free will: it is strong, and yet it has been overthrown. It is a master, yet it has become a slave. It has the opportunity to conquer, yet it would rather yield and be conquered itself. Although it is free, it gives itself into slavery, like a bondswoman who signs with her own hand the agreement that binds her.
Blessed be the memory of the righteous ones who stood firm. They did not wax and wane like the moon, but were like unto the sun, whose light is always the same. Their spirit was not like rain-fed streams which are at times full, but then suddenly dry up.
Waves of temptations of every sort were aimed at the righteous ones, but they did not grow faint. Glory did not make them haughty, nor did abusive treatment cause them to be despondent. There were always the same; never did the fragrance of their virtues falter.
Blessed is the Good One, Who has poured forth from His vaults the fragrance of their deeds. Blessed is the Just Judge, Who has glorified their feats with crowns.
Joseph, who bedewed his soul with remembrance of the Almighty, was not enkindled by the fire of iniquity; and, having conquered temptation, he became the king of Egypt.
Let us walk the strait path of sorrow, that we might become worthy and have God as our protector.
Pearls are always kept in the innermost vaults, but worthless stones are thrown out in the street as rubbish.
Cleanse yourself from shameful deeds with repentance, and the reproach of the slanderer will not frighten you.
With the help of the Divine fire, we must oppose the fire of passions. Until a brick is fired it is soft and brittle, but when submitted to fire it becomes a barrier against fire and watter.
Strive not to be a slave to your own will, but obey those who fear the Lord and, by God's mercy, you will crush the serpent's head.
Endure sorrow in the Lord, that joy might embrace you. Labor, that you might receive abundant reward.
Neither ridicule nor condemn those who fall into temptation; rather pray more frequently that you might not fall into temptation yourself.
A man who heart is clouded by a storm of thoughts and conquered by passions does not know shame before men, nor does he fear God.
Pray rather with an humble heart, and do not make yourself a den of thieves by indulging in indecent thoughts and desires, that you might not be ashamed in the day of judgement when men's secret will be revealed.
he who is negligent at harvests time will have no abundance for his household. And he who is careless now will find himself without the solace of the righteous in the day of reckoning.
78
O Lord! Show me Thy great lovingkindness and give me relief from the persecutions of the destroyer, for he has covered me with sores and he stands and mocks me.
As Thou didst tame the sea with one word from Thy lips when the disciples awakened Thee, so also hearken unto my groans and cries and tame the waves of the passions that move within me, aroused in my soul by the enemy of my salvation.
As the woman with an issue of blood was healed by merely touching the hem of Thy garment and straightway her blood ceased to flow, so also may my soul from which the enemy ceaselessly draws streams of sinful thoughts be healed by touching Thee just once through faith, O Physician of souls and bodies.
Demonstrate the healing power of faith in Thee, O Healer of all sicknesses, in the healing of my members which the enemy has covered with sores. Make my sores sores no long,er and instead cover them with virtues, that the enemy who has rejoiced at my ruin might then be ashamed.
O sinless Lamb, slaughtered for the salvation of the world and Creator of heaven and earth. Thy slave whom thou hast saved and given cause to rejoice shall ever praise Thy grace.
79
When Thou didst see, our Lord, that I had lost Thy glory, Thy love did not suffer it to be so. thou Who descendedst in Thy birth hast delivered me from Satan by Thy suffering and Thy death on the Cross.
But behold, I have sinned again and angered Thee and offended Thy name with the sins, transgressions and crimes I have committed. Woe is me, for I was ungrateful and have defiled myself with a multitude of wicked deeds!
I have wept and shed bitter tears while meditating on this fact. My meditation has transported me to fire, led me to a land of terror, carried me into a frightening and terrible abyss, cast me into flames and thrust me into darkness. My heart has felt all this, and I have sighed from fear and terror while contemplating this journey.
Carried away by these thoughts I have inspected the dwelling places of darkness. Then, sobbing and weeping, pained and sorrowing, have I condemned myself and bitterly exclaimed: woe is me, exceeding woe. What has justice prepared for me!
In terror I awoke as from a dream, but neither in waking was I delivered from torment of heart. I rent my garment, wept and sobbed: what have I done to my miserable self? I shall uncover my head like the harlot and confess my sins; with sighs shall I pray; I will turn my eyes into fountains of tears, that I might mourn for my unfortunate self.
I shall go to the publicans who are like me, I shall go to the sinners who repented. I will awaken my sleeping heart which has grown old in a multitude of evils. I will unite myself to the publicans and sinners and make myself like unto them. Like them shall I sob over the sins I have committed, that God's judgement might not be upon me and that I might not be tormented in the abyss of gehenna....
Vouchsafe me, O Lord, to love Thy love that comforts the saints and the righteous ones, who love non e other than Thee, O God, Who art magnanimous to the penitent, Who lovest the sinner who bedews his face with tears and bitterly mourns his transgression. Vouchsafe me, O Lord, the blessed repose that Thou hast prepared for all the saints.
80
be merciful, O Good One, to us who have freely chosen evil, the cause of all misery. The thoughts of our choosing are secret afflictions, and the deeds thereof are public afflictions. Such a choice brought on the first transgression of the law,, and all sin is a consequence thereof. Do Thou, O Pure One, purify our freedom, for now it is a fountain of turbid waters.
I wonder at our free will: it is strong, and yet it has been overthrown. It is a master, yet it has become a slave. It has the opportunity to conquer, yet it would rather yield and be conquered itself. Although it is free, it gives itself into slavery, like a bondswoman who signs with her own hand the agreement that binds her.
Blessed be the memory of the righteous ones who stood firm. They did not wax and wane like the moon, but were like unto the sun, whose light is always the same. Their spirit was not like rain-fed streams which are at times full, but then suddenly dry up.
Waves of temptations of every sort were aimed at the righteous ones, but they did not grow faint. Glory did not make them haughty, nor did abusive treatment cause them to be despondent. There were always the same; never did the fragrance of their virtues falter.
Blessed is the Good One, Who has poured forth from His vaults the fragrance of their deeds. Blessed is the Just Judge, Who has glorified their feats with crowns.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
A Spiritual Psalter from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian
73
Unto Thee do I cry, O Lord; despise not my pitiful supplication. Unto Thee do I stretch forth my defiled hands. Cast not away me who repent, but regard me with thy love for men and accept me with thine ardent kindness.
I have defiled myself with the sensuality of sin, disgraced the beauty of my soul, enslaved myself to carnal desires, destroyed the former dominion by heeding the libelous enemy, darkened the radiance of my nature: and, though I was honored to be counted as a son of God, I have made myself like unto the unreasoning beasts.
Terror, fear and trembling embrace me when I imagine the harvest of death that imperceptibly approaches us all; yet I remain incorrigible.
Be merciful to me, O Lover of me! In Thee alone do I lay all my hope. Grant that I might repent and be corrected and bring forth the fruits of repentance, that when the end comes I may not be cut down like a fruitless tree, or thrown into the fire like weeds; but like wheat may I be gathered into Thy storehouse.
I bow my knee and heart, and dare not look upon heaven. Accept the supplication of unclean lips, O my only Sinless Creator! Thou, O King of all, Who hast overthrown mutinous Belial, deliver me from all manner of iniquity. when they behold my conversion, angels and mortals will celebrate Thy glory.
I have scorned Thy life-giving commandments and been seduced by shameful deeds; but, Good Master, disdain not to deliver me from the Evil One's slavery.
I have made myself wholly a slave of the sins of sensuality; I have defiled body and soul. Daily do I cry: I have sinned, yet I cease not to engage in vile acts. And now I stand before Thee as one condemned.
Grant me, O Good One, forgiveness of my wicked deeds, for Thou art a kindhearted and man- befriending God.
74
Who will cure my soul if not Thou, O Christ, the only Physician of souls! Where will I find a remedy for the diseases of my soul, if not with Thee, O fountain of healing! Thou Who didst cure the ailing woman, cure also my soul from the ruin of sin.
May thy compassion descend on me and help me to overthrow my enemy. Fortify me who am infirm by the strength of thine arm, and the Evil One will be ashamed when he sees that I am prepared for battle. Animate me and the Evil One will be humiliated. In shame will he be turned back, and I will glorify thy name.
Accept the tears of my wretchedness and blot out the record of my debts, and again will the enemy be ashamed, seeing that Thy loving-kindness has destroyed the fruit of his wicked deeds and that I will not be punished.
May Thy compassion come to mine aid, that I might pass safely through the realm of temptations, and that I might thereafter be close to Thee, with Thee always.
My sinful soul will glorify Thee and Thy Father and the Holy Spirit, for she has wept and been heard, and, washed with tears of repentance, she has been made a temple inhabited by the Divinity Which has created the world.
75
No advantages do you offer those who love you, O world, you dwelling-place of sorrows. All who draw near to you do you seduce with our treasures and with all your delights, but in the day of death both the fair countenance of the beautiful and the might of the strong will be cast down into the grave. Woe to him who loves you and is loved by you, for his joy will be transformed into cries.
In the world--that sea of sin--all my days have passed in vain. My life has gone by without bringing me any profit. I have even forgotten about the day of death. I have whirled about and gathered a burden of sins, whole sheaves of tares destined to be consumed by fire. And behold--lamentation and sighs await me in that land full of horrors.
Because I have loved you, O cunning world, from my youth through my old age, the time of my life has passed without my notice; and lo, in sin will death steal me away. O, if only I had never set foot in you, O world that deceives all who enter! those who love you enjoy no pleasures, and those who hate you weep not. Blessed is he who has torn your snares asunder--he shall inherit the habitation of joy.
this world deceives even the wise with its appearance, for at times it appears desirable. It even offers benefits and treasures for loan, but in the day of death it will take them back and give in return torment incomparably greater than our sins. for a short while will it let us sin, but as a reward it will give us eternal darkness.
righteous art Thou, O Lord, and righteous is thy judgement that condemns the world and those who love it! therefore do I pray Thee that thy right hand which pulled Simon out of the sea might also pull me out of the waves and the tumult of this world that rise up against me. I have become mired in filth; the waters of the world are drowning me, they do not let me break loose to catch my breath. May Thy Cross, O Lord, be my staff and my support on the path along which I walk.
76
How beautiful the world is, but it is full of death! It is like unto a flower which opens in the spring. It blooms while dew and rain support its life; when the hot weather comes, the flower wilts. Likewise does death cause the cheeks to fade, and in the grave does it destroy the members of the body so beautifully arranged..... Grant us, O Lord, a refuge and defense in the land where the righteous dwell.
The world has made fools of its offspring. They sin, become distressed, and are convulsed by their own anxieties. How many of them whirl about, giving themselves no peace; yet they only gather thorns for the fire! Deceit arrogantly opens its mouth, but fidelity remains silent and does not speak. Iniquity gives eloquent speeches, but truth hides itself. Only death will silence all who have set foot on earth. Blessed is he who has completed his path in the world untainted.
the world is much stormier than the surging waves, and sin agitates it more than wind does the sea. There are times when the waters of the sea are calm, when the winds are concealed in their hiding places; but in the world waves of desire are ceaselessly whipped up, and the wind of deceit blows against the doors of the world's vessels. Yet the day when it will abate is at hand....Blessed is he who has complete his path in the world without falling into its snares.
Iniquity committed in the world upsets and distresses; burning lust takes on ferocity of a magnitude much greater than that of waves. The snares and traps of the world entangle those who serve it--their evil cargoes are sins and iniquities. But for the virtuous the time will come when their boat shall rest at harbor.
Your times and years are pleasant, O World, but they are like smoke. You are like unto a fleeting dream, and your days are just like shadows. Your evening passes quickly and your morning does not linger. Your hours fly, racing toward the end....Hasten, O sinner, to receive forgiveness while the light of day still shines on you.
Righteous is the judge, and righteous is the judgement of truth--then shall every man's deeds be weighted and rewarded according to his merits. In that day, those who worked iniquity will be tormented by regret, and those who labored virtuously will partake of joy in that land....O Lord, grant that I who am inspired by Thy mercy may be freed from the snares of the world so that I might safely enter the harbor of life.
Unto Thee do I cry, O Lord; despise not my pitiful supplication. Unto Thee do I stretch forth my defiled hands. Cast not away me who repent, but regard me with thy love for men and accept me with thine ardent kindness.
I have defiled myself with the sensuality of sin, disgraced the beauty of my soul, enslaved myself to carnal desires, destroyed the former dominion by heeding the libelous enemy, darkened the radiance of my nature: and, though I was honored to be counted as a son of God, I have made myself like unto the unreasoning beasts.
Terror, fear and trembling embrace me when I imagine the harvest of death that imperceptibly approaches us all; yet I remain incorrigible.
Be merciful to me, O Lover of me! In Thee alone do I lay all my hope. Grant that I might repent and be corrected and bring forth the fruits of repentance, that when the end comes I may not be cut down like a fruitless tree, or thrown into the fire like weeds; but like wheat may I be gathered into Thy storehouse.
I bow my knee and heart, and dare not look upon heaven. Accept the supplication of unclean lips, O my only Sinless Creator! Thou, O King of all, Who hast overthrown mutinous Belial, deliver me from all manner of iniquity. when they behold my conversion, angels and mortals will celebrate Thy glory.
I have scorned Thy life-giving commandments and been seduced by shameful deeds; but, Good Master, disdain not to deliver me from the Evil One's slavery.
I have made myself wholly a slave of the sins of sensuality; I have defiled body and soul. Daily do I cry: I have sinned, yet I cease not to engage in vile acts. And now I stand before Thee as one condemned.
Grant me, O Good One, forgiveness of my wicked deeds, for Thou art a kindhearted and man- befriending God.
74
Who will cure my soul if not Thou, O Christ, the only Physician of souls! Where will I find a remedy for the diseases of my soul, if not with Thee, O fountain of healing! Thou Who didst cure the ailing woman, cure also my soul from the ruin of sin.
May thy compassion descend on me and help me to overthrow my enemy. Fortify me who am infirm by the strength of thine arm, and the Evil One will be ashamed when he sees that I am prepared for battle. Animate me and the Evil One will be humiliated. In shame will he be turned back, and I will glorify thy name.
Accept the tears of my wretchedness and blot out the record of my debts, and again will the enemy be ashamed, seeing that Thy loving-kindness has destroyed the fruit of his wicked deeds and that I will not be punished.
May Thy compassion come to mine aid, that I might pass safely through the realm of temptations, and that I might thereafter be close to Thee, with Thee always.
My sinful soul will glorify Thee and Thy Father and the Holy Spirit, for she has wept and been heard, and, washed with tears of repentance, she has been made a temple inhabited by the Divinity Which has created the world.
75
No advantages do you offer those who love you, O world, you dwelling-place of sorrows. All who draw near to you do you seduce with our treasures and with all your delights, but in the day of death both the fair countenance of the beautiful and the might of the strong will be cast down into the grave. Woe to him who loves you and is loved by you, for his joy will be transformed into cries.
In the world--that sea of sin--all my days have passed in vain. My life has gone by without bringing me any profit. I have even forgotten about the day of death. I have whirled about and gathered a burden of sins, whole sheaves of tares destined to be consumed by fire. And behold--lamentation and sighs await me in that land full of horrors.
Because I have loved you, O cunning world, from my youth through my old age, the time of my life has passed without my notice; and lo, in sin will death steal me away. O, if only I had never set foot in you, O world that deceives all who enter! those who love you enjoy no pleasures, and those who hate you weep not. Blessed is he who has torn your snares asunder--he shall inherit the habitation of joy.
this world deceives even the wise with its appearance, for at times it appears desirable. It even offers benefits and treasures for loan, but in the day of death it will take them back and give in return torment incomparably greater than our sins. for a short while will it let us sin, but as a reward it will give us eternal darkness.
righteous art Thou, O Lord, and righteous is thy judgement that condemns the world and those who love it! therefore do I pray Thee that thy right hand which pulled Simon out of the sea might also pull me out of the waves and the tumult of this world that rise up against me. I have become mired in filth; the waters of the world are drowning me, they do not let me break loose to catch my breath. May Thy Cross, O Lord, be my staff and my support on the path along which I walk.
76
How beautiful the world is, but it is full of death! It is like unto a flower which opens in the spring. It blooms while dew and rain support its life; when the hot weather comes, the flower wilts. Likewise does death cause the cheeks to fade, and in the grave does it destroy the members of the body so beautifully arranged..... Grant us, O Lord, a refuge and defense in the land where the righteous dwell.
The world has made fools of its offspring. They sin, become distressed, and are convulsed by their own anxieties. How many of them whirl about, giving themselves no peace; yet they only gather thorns for the fire! Deceit arrogantly opens its mouth, but fidelity remains silent and does not speak. Iniquity gives eloquent speeches, but truth hides itself. Only death will silence all who have set foot on earth. Blessed is he who has completed his path in the world untainted.
the world is much stormier than the surging waves, and sin agitates it more than wind does the sea. There are times when the waters of the sea are calm, when the winds are concealed in their hiding places; but in the world waves of desire are ceaselessly whipped up, and the wind of deceit blows against the doors of the world's vessels. Yet the day when it will abate is at hand....Blessed is he who has complete his path in the world without falling into its snares.
Iniquity committed in the world upsets and distresses; burning lust takes on ferocity of a magnitude much greater than that of waves. The snares and traps of the world entangle those who serve it--their evil cargoes are sins and iniquities. But for the virtuous the time will come when their boat shall rest at harbor.
Your times and years are pleasant, O World, but they are like smoke. You are like unto a fleeting dream, and your days are just like shadows. Your evening passes quickly and your morning does not linger. Your hours fly, racing toward the end....Hasten, O sinner, to receive forgiveness while the light of day still shines on you.
Righteous is the judge, and righteous is the judgement of truth--then shall every man's deeds be weighted and rewarded according to his merits. In that day, those who worked iniquity will be tormented by regret, and those who labored virtuously will partake of joy in that land....O Lord, grant that I who am inspired by Thy mercy may be freed from the snares of the world so that I might safely enter the harbor of life.
Friday, March 28, 2008
A Spiritual Psalter from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian
69
Behold, again I fall at the feet of my Master, begging, beseeching, worshipping and calling out to Him with fear.
O Master, attend to my lamentation, and accept the words of my supplication that I a shameful sinner bring to Thee.
According to Thy mercy, pour out upon me, who am miserable, at least one small drop of grace to make me understand and be converted, that I might make at least some small effort to correct myself. For if Thy grace does not illumine my soul, I will not be able to see the carelessness and negligence that the passions have produced in me through my apathy and recklessness.
Alas, sin has taken possession of me and found in my a pasture. With each passing day it debases me and plunges me further into its depths. And I, who am wretched, cease not to anger God, neither fearing the inextinguishable fire nor trembling at the eternal torments.
Sin has become a habit and has led me into utter ruin. Although I myself recognize my error and cease not to offer confessions, still I remain in sin. I look and do not see, because I sin even in repentance, for I do not endeavor to scrutinize my deeds.
As a slave of sin, even when I do not want to I perform vile acts. As a warrior under its authority, I obey it: and though I have an opportunity to flee, I pay tribute to this habit which reigns in me. I oblige the passions and bring payments of flesh. I know that corruption is gaining strength in me, and I myself cooperate with it, attracted by some secret force. I would like to flee, but like a dog on a chain, I always return again to the same spot.
Sometimes I come to hate sin and nurture disgust for iniquity, but still I remain enslaved to passion. It possesses unfortunate me, and with sinful pleasure does it lead me into sin. Passion has bought my free will for itself, and spews out sin upon me. The passions boil within me contrary to my reason; they have coalesced with my flesh and will not suffer to be separated from it.
I strain to redirect my will, but my previous state will not allow me any success in this endeavor. I who am miserable try to free my soul from its debts, but immediately does the evil usurer lead me into greater debt. Generously does he grant me loans, never even mentioning repayment. He does not even want to take anything back, for he desires only my slavery. he lends and then does not seek after my debts, that I might be made rich in passions. I want to pay off my old debt, but he adds a new one.
If I force myself somewhat to struggle against the passions, in order to overcome me he adds new passions, and, seeing that my constant indebtedness forces me to sin, he introduces me to new desires; and to keep me from confessing them, he plunges me into the oblivion of my passions.
I encounter new passions and, occupied with them, I forget about former ones. I befriend the passions which reappear and become again a debtor. I run to them as to friends and again my usurers behave toward me like masters. And I, who not so long ago tried to gain freedom, make myself their loyal slave. Again I hasten to tear apart their bonds, and again I put on new ones. I hasten to free myself from the obligation to fight in their ranks, but because I have taken many gifts from them I find myself involuntarily bound to them.
O how great is the authority of the sinful passions over me! O, how great is the sovereignty of the wicked and cunning serpent! Acting according to nature, he too goes to market and offers a deposit in order to sell a mind to sin. He convinces me to please the flesh under the pretense of using it to serve the soul. I am utterly conquered by sensuality, and I straightaway indulge in unrestrained sleep; and thus am I altogether deprived of the function of my soul. When I pray, he inspires me with the thought of some worthless pleasure, and with it he constrains my mind as with a brass chain. My mind cannot loose the bond, try as it may to flee.
Thus does sin keep my mind under guard and lock the doors of knowledge on me. The enemy ceaselessly supervises the mind, that it might not come to accord with God and not obstruct him in selling the flesh. To this end does he employ a multitude of confused thoughts, assuring me that I will not be asked about such trifles at the judgement, that it is impossible even for anyone to know of these thoughts and that all such things will be forgotten. But I imagine in my mind's eye how my error will be revealed, and I know that I am threatened with punishment.
Thus does sin keep me in check; thus does it bind me; thus does it buy and sell me; thus does it lead me into error; thus does it flatter me and subject me to itself for, as the Apostle says, man is carnal, sold under sin. For the sin that is in my flesh reigns over my mind, and through my own fault, it uses my flesh to burden my soul.
If someone undertakes to fast or stand vigil or endure wounds, sin uses the flesh as if it were its own property to burden the soul with chains and, as a sheep for slaughter, it binds her, and uses the flesh also to cut off her hands and feet. I cannot flee, nor can I help myself.
Alas, alive I am a corpse. I look and do not see, I have changed from man to dog and though I have reason I am treated like a beast.
Have mercy, O soul, on thyself, and hasten at last to engage in battle with sin before thou art parted from the body, that we might not remain outside the doors like the foolish virgins; for one dead cannot see life or contemplate righteousness there where there is no battle for life or death, where there is no flesh for the enemy to curse when he is utterly vanquishing by it.
70
A fountain full of waters constantly flowing and abundantly giving drink to all who come portrays the abundance of Thine inexhaustible compassion, O Lord.
Plentifully dost Thou nourish the heavenly powers and provide food for all that breathes on earth. Thy love, which desires our salvation, condescends to us in order to bring us to herself and to save those who come to her.
Thou, O Master, art omniscient and seest the resolve with which a man turns from sin. And before he comes to the door, Thou dost open it for him. Before he falls at Thy feet, Thou dost stretch out Thine hand to him. Before he sheds tears, Thou bestowest upon him Thy compassion. Before he confesses his debts, Thou grantest him forgiveness.
Thou dost not accuse him or say: how did you squander your belongings? Thou rememberest not how he angered Thee with his depravity; Thou reproachest him not for scorning Thy good works. But, foreseeing his humility, lamentation and sincere disposition, Thou proclaimest: take out the best garment and clothe him; kill the fatted calf that we may be consoled and make merry. May the angels gather and rejoice at the son who was lost and has been found, at the return of the prodigal heir.
As people go out to meet a merchant when he comes home with great riches, thus may Thy grace receive a sinner who returns to Thee with all his soul. For Thy grace loves to see tears, longs to see repentance, rejoices at the ardor of those who strive to repent.
Glory to Thee Who art longsuffering and kindhearted, O master and Lover of men.
71
Frightening and terrible is the day of Thy judgement, O our Savior, when secret sins will be revealed. Therefore I tremble, O Lord, and am embraced by terror, for my sins have exceeded all bounds. Be merciful to me according to Thy compassion, O good and kindhearted One!
I look, O Lord, at my sins and become agitated, seeing their multitude. Alas, how did it happen that such misery has befallen me? My tongue utters marvelous things, but my behavior is shameful and contemptible. Woe is me in that day when secrets will be revealed!
Others find my words immensely beautiful, but my deeds are repulsive. I teach others in the world how to order their lives; but I, who am an unfortunate one, myself indulge in the passions.
All my days have passed and vanished in sin. I have not served truth for even one day. As soon as I began to repent with the intent to sin no more, the evil one always came and trapped me through his hatred. Woe is me, for voluntarily do I land in his snare.
If I go out for a walk, I step out like a righteous man, like a sage. If I see another sinning, I mock and deride him. Alas, my transgressions will likewise be exposed and I will be ashamed!
O, better it were for me not to have been born into this world! Then this transient life would not have corrupted me. If I had not seen it, I would have no guilt, I would not have defiled myself with sins and would not have to fear interrogation, the judgement and torment.
As soon as I vow to repent, i return again and fall into the very same sins. The time I spend in sin gladdens me; I even think that I am doing something praiseworthy. Woe is me! Until now I never considered that gehenna awaits me.
An evil will leads me into sin, and when I sin I lay the blame on Satan. But woe is me, for I bring about my sins myself. The Evil One does not use force to make me sin; I sin according to mine own will.
Be kind to me, O Thou Who art kindhearted to the penitent! Forgive me my transgressions according to the magnitude of Thy goodness. Accept, O Lord, the tears I bring to Thee, and cleanse me from sin, as Thou didst cleanse the harlot. I realize, O Lord, that I have sinned. Spare me according to Thy compassion.
72
Come, let us find compassion while we may yet seek it. The place for repentance is in this transient life; in the intransient life neither prayer nor tears will be accepted.
With the tears that she shed the harlot destroyed the record of her sins. Likewise, O sinner, bring tears and sighs as an offering and call out to the Lord, and immediately will He forgive you your debts.
As an offering for the Lord Jesus bring tears, O penitent one, and beat your breast like the publican who sighed and prayed, saying: be merciful, O Lord, to me a sinner who have angered Thee.
Behold, the door is open and awaits your return, O sinner. Return to your Lord, leave your indecent ways behind. Get up and step on the path that leads to the kingdom.
You have an open wound, a sore of sin. If you loiter on the way, it will utterly destroy you. Your Physician is experienced. Show Him your sore, lament with tears at His door, arouse His compassion that He might heal you.
O Good One, who gavest Thyself up to crucifixion and death in order to redeem us, deliver the soul of Thy servant from the multitude of his sins, that he might life up his voice to thank Thee and Thy Father and Thy Holy Spirit.
Behold, again I fall at the feet of my Master, begging, beseeching, worshipping and calling out to Him with fear.
O Master, attend to my lamentation, and accept the words of my supplication that I a shameful sinner bring to Thee.
According to Thy mercy, pour out upon me, who am miserable, at least one small drop of grace to make me understand and be converted, that I might make at least some small effort to correct myself. For if Thy grace does not illumine my soul, I will not be able to see the carelessness and negligence that the passions have produced in me through my apathy and recklessness.
Alas, sin has taken possession of me and found in my a pasture. With each passing day it debases me and plunges me further into its depths. And I, who am wretched, cease not to anger God, neither fearing the inextinguishable fire nor trembling at the eternal torments.
Sin has become a habit and has led me into utter ruin. Although I myself recognize my error and cease not to offer confessions, still I remain in sin. I look and do not see, because I sin even in repentance, for I do not endeavor to scrutinize my deeds.
As a slave of sin, even when I do not want to I perform vile acts. As a warrior under its authority, I obey it: and though I have an opportunity to flee, I pay tribute to this habit which reigns in me. I oblige the passions and bring payments of flesh. I know that corruption is gaining strength in me, and I myself cooperate with it, attracted by some secret force. I would like to flee, but like a dog on a chain, I always return again to the same spot.
Sometimes I come to hate sin and nurture disgust for iniquity, but still I remain enslaved to passion. It possesses unfortunate me, and with sinful pleasure does it lead me into sin. Passion has bought my free will for itself, and spews out sin upon me. The passions boil within me contrary to my reason; they have coalesced with my flesh and will not suffer to be separated from it.
I strain to redirect my will, but my previous state will not allow me any success in this endeavor. I who am miserable try to free my soul from its debts, but immediately does the evil usurer lead me into greater debt. Generously does he grant me loans, never even mentioning repayment. He does not even want to take anything back, for he desires only my slavery. he lends and then does not seek after my debts, that I might be made rich in passions. I want to pay off my old debt, but he adds a new one.
If I force myself somewhat to struggle against the passions, in order to overcome me he adds new passions, and, seeing that my constant indebtedness forces me to sin, he introduces me to new desires; and to keep me from confessing them, he plunges me into the oblivion of my passions.
I encounter new passions and, occupied with them, I forget about former ones. I befriend the passions which reappear and become again a debtor. I run to them as to friends and again my usurers behave toward me like masters. And I, who not so long ago tried to gain freedom, make myself their loyal slave. Again I hasten to tear apart their bonds, and again I put on new ones. I hasten to free myself from the obligation to fight in their ranks, but because I have taken many gifts from them I find myself involuntarily bound to them.
O how great is the authority of the sinful passions over me! O, how great is the sovereignty of the wicked and cunning serpent! Acting according to nature, he too goes to market and offers a deposit in order to sell a mind to sin. He convinces me to please the flesh under the pretense of using it to serve the soul. I am utterly conquered by sensuality, and I straightaway indulge in unrestrained sleep; and thus am I altogether deprived of the function of my soul. When I pray, he inspires me with the thought of some worthless pleasure, and with it he constrains my mind as with a brass chain. My mind cannot loose the bond, try as it may to flee.
Thus does sin keep my mind under guard and lock the doors of knowledge on me. The enemy ceaselessly supervises the mind, that it might not come to accord with God and not obstruct him in selling the flesh. To this end does he employ a multitude of confused thoughts, assuring me that I will not be asked about such trifles at the judgement, that it is impossible even for anyone to know of these thoughts and that all such things will be forgotten. But I imagine in my mind's eye how my error will be revealed, and I know that I am threatened with punishment.
Thus does sin keep me in check; thus does it bind me; thus does it buy and sell me; thus does it lead me into error; thus does it flatter me and subject me to itself for, as the Apostle says, man is carnal, sold under sin. For the sin that is in my flesh reigns over my mind, and through my own fault, it uses my flesh to burden my soul.
If someone undertakes to fast or stand vigil or endure wounds, sin uses the flesh as if it were its own property to burden the soul with chains and, as a sheep for slaughter, it binds her, and uses the flesh also to cut off her hands and feet. I cannot flee, nor can I help myself.
Alas, alive I am a corpse. I look and do not see, I have changed from man to dog and though I have reason I am treated like a beast.
Have mercy, O soul, on thyself, and hasten at last to engage in battle with sin before thou art parted from the body, that we might not remain outside the doors like the foolish virgins; for one dead cannot see life or contemplate righteousness there where there is no battle for life or death, where there is no flesh for the enemy to curse when he is utterly vanquishing by it.
70
A fountain full of waters constantly flowing and abundantly giving drink to all who come portrays the abundance of Thine inexhaustible compassion, O Lord.
Plentifully dost Thou nourish the heavenly powers and provide food for all that breathes on earth. Thy love, which desires our salvation, condescends to us in order to bring us to herself and to save those who come to her.
Thou, O Master, art omniscient and seest the resolve with which a man turns from sin. And before he comes to the door, Thou dost open it for him. Before he falls at Thy feet, Thou dost stretch out Thine hand to him. Before he sheds tears, Thou bestowest upon him Thy compassion. Before he confesses his debts, Thou grantest him forgiveness.
Thou dost not accuse him or say: how did you squander your belongings? Thou rememberest not how he angered Thee with his depravity; Thou reproachest him not for scorning Thy good works. But, foreseeing his humility, lamentation and sincere disposition, Thou proclaimest: take out the best garment and clothe him; kill the fatted calf that we may be consoled and make merry. May the angels gather and rejoice at the son who was lost and has been found, at the return of the prodigal heir.
As people go out to meet a merchant when he comes home with great riches, thus may Thy grace receive a sinner who returns to Thee with all his soul. For Thy grace loves to see tears, longs to see repentance, rejoices at the ardor of those who strive to repent.
Glory to Thee Who art longsuffering and kindhearted, O master and Lover of men.
71
Frightening and terrible is the day of Thy judgement, O our Savior, when secret sins will be revealed. Therefore I tremble, O Lord, and am embraced by terror, for my sins have exceeded all bounds. Be merciful to me according to Thy compassion, O good and kindhearted One!
I look, O Lord, at my sins and become agitated, seeing their multitude. Alas, how did it happen that such misery has befallen me? My tongue utters marvelous things, but my behavior is shameful and contemptible. Woe is me in that day when secrets will be revealed!
Others find my words immensely beautiful, but my deeds are repulsive. I teach others in the world how to order their lives; but I, who am an unfortunate one, myself indulge in the passions.
All my days have passed and vanished in sin. I have not served truth for even one day. As soon as I began to repent with the intent to sin no more, the evil one always came and trapped me through his hatred. Woe is me, for voluntarily do I land in his snare.
If I go out for a walk, I step out like a righteous man, like a sage. If I see another sinning, I mock and deride him. Alas, my transgressions will likewise be exposed and I will be ashamed!
O, better it were for me not to have been born into this world! Then this transient life would not have corrupted me. If I had not seen it, I would have no guilt, I would not have defiled myself with sins and would not have to fear interrogation, the judgement and torment.
As soon as I vow to repent, i return again and fall into the very same sins. The time I spend in sin gladdens me; I even think that I am doing something praiseworthy. Woe is me! Until now I never considered that gehenna awaits me.
An evil will leads me into sin, and when I sin I lay the blame on Satan. But woe is me, for I bring about my sins myself. The Evil One does not use force to make me sin; I sin according to mine own will.
Be kind to me, O Thou Who art kindhearted to the penitent! Forgive me my transgressions according to the magnitude of Thy goodness. Accept, O Lord, the tears I bring to Thee, and cleanse me from sin, as Thou didst cleanse the harlot. I realize, O Lord, that I have sinned. Spare me according to Thy compassion.
72
Come, let us find compassion while we may yet seek it. The place for repentance is in this transient life; in the intransient life neither prayer nor tears will be accepted.
With the tears that she shed the harlot destroyed the record of her sins. Likewise, O sinner, bring tears and sighs as an offering and call out to the Lord, and immediately will He forgive you your debts.
As an offering for the Lord Jesus bring tears, O penitent one, and beat your breast like the publican who sighed and prayed, saying: be merciful, O Lord, to me a sinner who have angered Thee.
Behold, the door is open and awaits your return, O sinner. Return to your Lord, leave your indecent ways behind. Get up and step on the path that leads to the kingdom.
You have an open wound, a sore of sin. If you loiter on the way, it will utterly destroy you. Your Physician is experienced. Show Him your sore, lament with tears at His door, arouse His compassion that He might heal you.
O Good One, who gavest Thyself up to crucifixion and death in order to redeem us, deliver the soul of Thy servant from the multitude of his sins, that he might life up his voice to thank Thee and Thy Father and Thy Holy Spirit.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
A Spiritual Psalter from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian
65
Fire threatens my members, O Lord; but concealed within me, O my Deliverer, is Thy reconciling blood. Gehenna awaits to torture me, but Thy life-creating body is intimately united with mine. I am clothed in the garment of the Holy Spirit, and I shall not even be singed. When the river of fire begins to rumble, threatening vengeance, then will the fire be extinguished in me, smitten by the scent of Thy flesh and blood.
Thou, our Lord, art the hope of the penitent. Thou art the friend of all sinners. I beseech Thee, O Lord, by thy holy name: do not punish me with Thy righteous judgement. By the love of Thy Parent, by Thy Mother's bosom, where Thou wast carried, by the spear that pierced Thy ribs on Golgotha, do I beseech Thee: sprinkle me with the dew of Thy loving-kindness, that I might not then languish with thirst.
May thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire. May I pass along it to the habitation of life.
Jonah called out to Thee in the depths of the sea and so did Daniel in the lion's den. The three Hebrew children called thee in the furnace fired up by the Chaldaeans. Thou didst lead Jonah out of the abyss, Thou didst save Daniel, and Thy loving-kindness bedewed and extinguished the flame in the furnace. Have mercy on me also, O Lord, and save me because I have confessed Thee, and, according to Thy grace, forgive me my debts.
Have mercy on me, O our kindhearted Lord, and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, blot out my sins. Wash me from the iniquities of my hands, that I might be purified and cleansed of my stains. I know that I have sinned; my sins are ever before me and I see them. Before Thee alone am I guilty, and against Thee alone have I sinned. Be merciful to me, Lord Jesus, our God.
Three times did Simon deny Thee, O Lord; but he brought Thee tears and Thou didst receive him. Behold: I, too, bring Thee a pure confession. Many are my sins; they are countless. According to Thy compassions, O our Lord, forgive mine iniquities; by Thy grace blot out the record of my stains and remember not my sins.
Praise be to the Lord God Who does not desire the death of a sinner! Praise to Thee, Who hast mercy on sinners! Praise to Thee Who receivest the penitent! Praise to Thee, O Jesus, Who openest Thy door to all who knock at it and beg the forgiveness of their sins! Praise to Thee, O Lord, and may Thy compassion be upon us! Be merciful to us, O Jesus, our Lord.
66
According to Thy grace that calls us, O God, to approach Thee without perishing, O Good One, Who hast made a covenant with us, proclaiming: Call upon Me and I will hearken unto you--thus do I knock at the door of Thy goodness, O my Deliverer! Hearken unto me according to Thy compassion and regard not mine iniquities. Have mercy on me, O Lord, have mercy on me according to Thy goodness, for I am guilty of much before Thy truth.
Thou didst create me, O Lord, name me in Thine image, and, according to Thy goodness, make me in Thy likeness. Thou didst teach me to recognize the path to the habitation of life and show me the path to gehenna. On account of his envy, the Evil One placed secret ambushes in my way, lured me from Thy path, and sullied me with abominations. Woe is me, O our Lord, for I am guilty of many things! Have mercy on me, O Lord, and save me according to Thy grace.
The thief, the wicked stealer of souls, craftily took my freedom from me, seduced me, and reviled me. By the gave of my eyes did he delude and imprison me and put sinful thoughts in me. I glanced and was filled with desire; I looked on curiously and I sinned. Because I stretched forth my hands to perform iniquity, so have i utterly perished. Alas, now the fire threatens me! Save me, O kindhearted One, that I might not die.
I am the most unfortunate of all who have been born of woman, for by my very own deeds have I made myself an unfortunate and cast myself into ruin. Daily have I sinned and comforted myself by ignoring the fact that death lies in wait for me. Alas, the angel of death sent to take me to the judgement is already at hand. Alas, all that is concealed will be exposed, and I will be covered with shame1
Behold: my deeds are justly recorded; not a single word has been forgotten. In the Judge's great book are all my deeds and transgressions entered. Woe is me, when justice reads there all the sins which I have committed from my youth through my old age! What shall I do in that hour and where shall I run from Thee, O Lord?
Woe is me, O Lord! I am guilty of so many things! Woe is me; I have sinned and not offered Thee repentance! O God who hadst mercy on the harlot, have mercy also on me who am miserable, O our Lord, that I might not perish! In the place of the myrrh that the harlot brought Thee, I have Thy flesh and blood which are united with my members. No, O our Lord, regard not my deeds; may thy grace blot out mine offenses.
Enter not into judgement with me, O our Lord, for no living creature can be justified before Thee. Thou alone, O Lord art pure. Spare me and cleanse me of sins by Thy grace. Vouchsafe me, O kindhearted One, Thy great compassions, that they might make me rich and I might receive forgiveness, and Thine angels might rejoice according to Thy word, O Thou who art kindhearted towards sinners.
67
I beseech Thee, O true Light, begotten of the blessed Father, image of His hypostasis, Who sittest at the right of His magnificence, O Christ, the praise and joy of those who love Thee: Thou art my life, my light and my gladness!
Fire threatens my members, O Lord; but concealed within me, O my Deliverer, is Thy reconciling blood. Gehenna awaits to torture me, but Thy life-creating body is intimately united with mine. I am clothed in the garment of the Holy Spirit, and I shall not even be singed. When the river of fire begins to rumble, threatening vengeance, then will the fire be extinguished in me, smitten by the scent of Thy flesh and blood.
Thou, our Lord, art the hope of the penitent. Thou art the friend of all sinners. I beseech Thee, O Lord, by thy holy name: do not punish me with Thy righteous judgement. By the love of Thy Parent, by Thy Mother's bosom, where Thou wast carried, by the spear that pierced Thy ribs on Golgotha, do I beseech Thee: sprinkle me with the dew of Thy loving-kindness, that I might not then languish with thirst.
May thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire. May I pass along it to the habitation of life.
Jonah called out to Thee in the depths of the sea and so did Daniel in the lion's den. The three Hebrew children called thee in the furnace fired up by the Chaldaeans. Thou didst lead Jonah out of the abyss, Thou didst save Daniel, and Thy loving-kindness bedewed and extinguished the flame in the furnace. Have mercy on me also, O Lord, and save me because I have confessed Thee, and, according to Thy grace, forgive me my debts.
Have mercy on me, O our kindhearted Lord, and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, blot out my sins. Wash me from the iniquities of my hands, that I might be purified and cleansed of my stains. I know that I have sinned; my sins are ever before me and I see them. Before Thee alone am I guilty, and against Thee alone have I sinned. Be merciful to me, Lord Jesus, our God.
Three times did Simon deny Thee, O Lord; but he brought Thee tears and Thou didst receive him. Behold: I, too, bring Thee a pure confession. Many are my sins; they are countless. According to Thy compassions, O our Lord, forgive mine iniquities; by Thy grace blot out the record of my stains and remember not my sins.
Praise be to the Lord God Who does not desire the death of a sinner! Praise to Thee, Who hast mercy on sinners! Praise to Thee Who receivest the penitent! Praise to Thee, O Jesus, Who openest Thy door to all who knock at it and beg the forgiveness of their sins! Praise to Thee, O Lord, and may Thy compassion be upon us! Be merciful to us, O Jesus, our Lord.
66
According to Thy grace that calls us, O God, to approach Thee without perishing, O Good One, Who hast made a covenant with us, proclaiming: Call upon Me and I will hearken unto you--thus do I knock at the door of Thy goodness, O my Deliverer! Hearken unto me according to Thy compassion and regard not mine iniquities. Have mercy on me, O Lord, have mercy on me according to Thy goodness, for I am guilty of much before Thy truth.
Thou didst create me, O Lord, name me in Thine image, and, according to Thy goodness, make me in Thy likeness. Thou didst teach me to recognize the path to the habitation of life and show me the path to gehenna. On account of his envy, the Evil One placed secret ambushes in my way, lured me from Thy path, and sullied me with abominations. Woe is me, O our Lord, for I am guilty of many things! Have mercy on me, O Lord, and save me according to Thy grace.
The thief, the wicked stealer of souls, craftily took my freedom from me, seduced me, and reviled me. By the gave of my eyes did he delude and imprison me and put sinful thoughts in me. I glanced and was filled with desire; I looked on curiously and I sinned. Because I stretched forth my hands to perform iniquity, so have i utterly perished. Alas, now the fire threatens me! Save me, O kindhearted One, that I might not die.
I am the most unfortunate of all who have been born of woman, for by my very own deeds have I made myself an unfortunate and cast myself into ruin. Daily have I sinned and comforted myself by ignoring the fact that death lies in wait for me. Alas, the angel of death sent to take me to the judgement is already at hand. Alas, all that is concealed will be exposed, and I will be covered with shame1
Behold: my deeds are justly recorded; not a single word has been forgotten. In the Judge's great book are all my deeds and transgressions entered. Woe is me, when justice reads there all the sins which I have committed from my youth through my old age! What shall I do in that hour and where shall I run from Thee, O Lord?
Woe is me, O Lord! I am guilty of so many things! Woe is me; I have sinned and not offered Thee repentance! O God who hadst mercy on the harlot, have mercy also on me who am miserable, O our Lord, that I might not perish! In the place of the myrrh that the harlot brought Thee, I have Thy flesh and blood which are united with my members. No, O our Lord, regard not my deeds; may thy grace blot out mine offenses.
Enter not into judgement with me, O our Lord, for no living creature can be justified before Thee. Thou alone, O Lord art pure. Spare me and cleanse me of sins by Thy grace. Vouchsafe me, O kindhearted One, Thy great compassions, that they might make me rich and I might receive forgiveness, and Thine angels might rejoice according to Thy word, O Thou who art kindhearted towards sinners.
67
I beseech Thee, O true Light, begotten of the blessed Father, image of His hypostasis, Who sittest at the right of His magnificence, O Christ, the praise and joy of those who love Thee: Thou art my life, my light and my gladness!
Despise not me, who am worthless; cast me who am vile not away, for the enemy will be exceedingly pleased if I am plunged into despair because of the fog of error which surrounds me. He will rejoice only when he sees that despair is beginning to make me his captive.
Rather do Thou, according to Thine ardent love, shame his hopes, snatch me from his teeth, deliver me from his crafty schemes, from all that he contrives against me; for greatly does he arm himself to do battle with me.
Grant me, O Lord, enlightenment to recognize the wiles of my adversary, the hater of all good; for he places in my path countless multitudes of seductions and pitfalls--both profits and losses, the comforts of this age and carnal pleasure, the length of the present life, timidity in ascetic labors, slothfulness in prayer, sleep and rest for the body during the singing of psalms.
Inasmuch as the enemy strives for my ruin, so do I, who am miserable, surrender myself to recklessness and apathy. The more snares he sets out for me, the more careless I become.
Be wary, O my soul, watch over thy conscience; pay no attention to the falls of others, but be instead more attentive to thine own falls. Hasten, forestall thy ruin, and be reconciled to Christ, crucified in the flesh for thy sake. If we have condemned ourselves, we will not be condemned then, at the great and eternal judgement.
Be kind to me, O Lord, according to Thy compassion; and save me according to Thy singular goodness, through the prayers of our All-Pure Lady the Mother of God and of all the saints.
68
A soul choked by sorrow approaches Thee, O holy Master, and stands before Thee with tears, leveling accusations against the annihilator, the enemy, and with all humility she falls down before Thee, begging for defense from the adversary that oppresses her.
Inasmuch as this soul approaches thee without shame, be quick to hear her, and visit thine attention upon her, who runs to Thee with live.
If thou wilt despise her, choked as she is by sorrow, she will perish. If Thou hesitatest to hear her, who is deadened, her strength will fail.
But if, according to Thy compassions, Thou wilt visit her, she will be made whole. If Thou wilt regard her, she will be saved. If thou wilt hearken unto her, she will be saved. If Thou wilt hearken unto her, she will wax in strength.
Be jealous over her, for she is betrothed unto Thee, and Paul who betrothed her unto Thee said that Thou art an immortal and jealous God.
Despise not her, that the enemy might not think that Thou hast divorced Thyself from her and sent her away from Thyself. Punish me, O Lord, according to Thy compassion; but deliver me not into the hands of the annihilator.
Lo, I have gathered up all of my thoughts and cannot recall anything good before Thee except the fact that I know no other God than Thee.
A Spiritual Psalter from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian
61
O God Who art above all, Who alone hast authority over life and death: show me, a sinner, Thy great mercy in the hour of Thy terrible coming, that as I stand before Thy throne I might not be a great disgrace and reproach to all who will behold me: the angels, archangels, prophets, apostles, patriarchs, martyrs, ascetics, and all the righteous.
Bring me to my senses here, my Savior, here where I have enjoyed the delusion of sin, as a goodhearted Father Who loves His children, and forgive me there, as our merciful and only sinless God.
I who am wretched have committed every kind of sin. I have surpassed all with my dissipation. I deserve punishment, and if I begin to beg for repentance, I have no tears.
Alas, with what eyes shall I, a negligent sinner, behold the terrible throne upon which Thou, O Lord, wilt sit as Thou exposest what I have done? the whole of my life have I squandered like a prodigal, wallowing continually in the mire of sensuality.
Thou alone, O my Creator, knowest all my secret falls and the full extent of my sins. No one has ever been such a dwelling-place of sin as I. No one ever embittered Thy grace, O Master, as fully as I, who followed the aims of sin.
But do Thou, Who art a sea of goodness, dry up the ruinous sea of my sins. Do Thou, Who art an abyss of loving-kindness, drown the abyss of my sins.
Repay me not according to the merit of my deeds, and condemn me not to the flames of gehenna. For Thy wrath, O Lord, is inbearable, and who can withstand Thy threats?
62
Fear, O soul, the judgement and gehenna, and drive away the heavy sleep of apathy and the terrible slumber of recklessness. The end is near, the judgement is at the door. What will we encounter after we take leave of this life?
Come to my aid, O saints and righteous ones, who have performed good deeds unto salvation and lament for me as for one deceased, or take pity on me as one who is among the living but half-dead. For I am full of shame and lack boldness because of the sins I have knowingly committed.
Pour out on me your kindness as you wold for a prisoner or for one covered with festering sores. Be kind to me, O initiates of the merciful God, our Savior, and pray that He might freely convert me, and that in the hour of His coming I might not be found unworthy and not hear the terrible condemnation: get away from Me, O worker of deceit. I tell you that I know you not.
63
Grant me, O Son of the Good One, that for which my mind yearns, and join to it that which is pleasing to Thy will.
Grant that I may choose to do good and in no way deviate from Thy will.
Do not permit me to be a wicked and hypocritical disciple who violates Thy commandments.
Protect me from thinking that I can walk along Thy path merely for the sake of appearance and thus by my hypocrisy deceive those who see me, inciting them to proclaim me blessed.
Grant that my heart might please Thy greatness in secret, and that my just life might glorify Thee publicly.
May truth be a mistress to guide Thy worshipper; may it preserve me in chastity both near and far.
Deliver me from the misfortune of knowing Thy law, yet lacking the desire to please Thee.
Vouchsafe me the company of people who are simple, but experienced and wise in the performance of virtues.
My flesh is weak. Fortify it with Thy strength. Help me, break the arrows of the cunning enemy, and number me among the hosts of Thine heirs.
Grant me, O Lord, ever to be among Thy dominion and to do what is pleasing to Thee. And whenever I begin something good, do Thou, O Lord, give me strength to complete it.
I know, O Lord, that I have sinned against Thy will. Clearly do I see that I have transgressed Thy commands. But do Thou, who makest Thy sun to shine on the bad and the good, deign also to shine Thy light in my clouded mind. And sins--those murderers and robbers who have taken up residence inside of me--will be driven out by this Thy light.
The Evil One sees in me no wickedness that did not come from him, for it is because of him that I have become wicked. I am, however, conquered by him through my own free will. The Evil One has entangled me because I myself instructed him to do so.
The slothful and the timid run from Thy yoke; Thy love shames the negligent.
Praise be to Thy goodness, to that mother of all teachers. The blows that they deliver to bring the stubborn to their senses are perhaps quite painful, yet sympathetically do they offer healing to the penitent.
Worthy of veneration are Thy Father and Thy Holy Spirit, Who rejoices at our return!
64
Blessed is he who has become magnanimous and kindhearted and not enslaved himself to untamed vehemence or wicked wrath; he will be magnified by the Lord.
Blessed is he who has been exalted in love and stands like a city built on a mountaintop, for whom the enemy withdraws with terror when he sees him; for he fears a man who is firm in the Lord.
Blessed is he who has shone forth with faith in the Lord like a bright candle on a tall candlestick, and has illumined the souls of those in darkness who followed the teachings of the faithless and the irreverent.
Blessed is he who ever loves truth and does not let his lips arm dishonor with lies, for he fears the commandment that forbids even idle talk.
Blessed is he who does not foolishly judge his neighbor, but rather, as befits a reasonable, spiritual man, tries first to cast out the beam from his own eye.
Blessed is he who has consciously exercised restraint, and who has never been seduced, neither in thought nor in his senses, by skin and flesh which soon pass and putrefy.
Blessed is he who keeps the day of his departure ever before his eyes, and has learned to hate arrogance before our inherent worthlessness is to be revealed by putrefaction in the grave.
O God Who art above all, Who alone hast authority over life and death: show me, a sinner, Thy great mercy in the hour of Thy terrible coming, that as I stand before Thy throne I might not be a great disgrace and reproach to all who will behold me: the angels, archangels, prophets, apostles, patriarchs, martyrs, ascetics, and all the righteous.
Bring me to my senses here, my Savior, here where I have enjoyed the delusion of sin, as a goodhearted Father Who loves His children, and forgive me there, as our merciful and only sinless God.
I who am wretched have committed every kind of sin. I have surpassed all with my dissipation. I deserve punishment, and if I begin to beg for repentance, I have no tears.
Alas, with what eyes shall I, a negligent sinner, behold the terrible throne upon which Thou, O Lord, wilt sit as Thou exposest what I have done? the whole of my life have I squandered like a prodigal, wallowing continually in the mire of sensuality.
Thou alone, O my Creator, knowest all my secret falls and the full extent of my sins. No one has ever been such a dwelling-place of sin as I. No one ever embittered Thy grace, O Master, as fully as I, who followed the aims of sin.
But do Thou, Who art a sea of goodness, dry up the ruinous sea of my sins. Do Thou, Who art an abyss of loving-kindness, drown the abyss of my sins.
Repay me not according to the merit of my deeds, and condemn me not to the flames of gehenna. For Thy wrath, O Lord, is inbearable, and who can withstand Thy threats?
62
Fear, O soul, the judgement and gehenna, and drive away the heavy sleep of apathy and the terrible slumber of recklessness. The end is near, the judgement is at the door. What will we encounter after we take leave of this life?
Come to my aid, O saints and righteous ones, who have performed good deeds unto salvation and lament for me as for one deceased, or take pity on me as one who is among the living but half-dead. For I am full of shame and lack boldness because of the sins I have knowingly committed.
Pour out on me your kindness as you wold for a prisoner or for one covered with festering sores. Be kind to me, O initiates of the merciful God, our Savior, and pray that He might freely convert me, and that in the hour of His coming I might not be found unworthy and not hear the terrible condemnation: get away from Me, O worker of deceit. I tell you that I know you not.
63
Grant me, O Son of the Good One, that for which my mind yearns, and join to it that which is pleasing to Thy will.
Grant that I may choose to do good and in no way deviate from Thy will.
Do not permit me to be a wicked and hypocritical disciple who violates Thy commandments.
Protect me from thinking that I can walk along Thy path merely for the sake of appearance and thus by my hypocrisy deceive those who see me, inciting them to proclaim me blessed.
Grant that my heart might please Thy greatness in secret, and that my just life might glorify Thee publicly.
May truth be a mistress to guide Thy worshipper; may it preserve me in chastity both near and far.
Deliver me from the misfortune of knowing Thy law, yet lacking the desire to please Thee.
Vouchsafe me the company of people who are simple, but experienced and wise in the performance of virtues.
My flesh is weak. Fortify it with Thy strength. Help me, break the arrows of the cunning enemy, and number me among the hosts of Thine heirs.
Grant me, O Lord, ever to be among Thy dominion and to do what is pleasing to Thee. And whenever I begin something good, do Thou, O Lord, give me strength to complete it.
I know, O Lord, that I have sinned against Thy will. Clearly do I see that I have transgressed Thy commands. But do Thou, who makest Thy sun to shine on the bad and the good, deign also to shine Thy light in my clouded mind. And sins--those murderers and robbers who have taken up residence inside of me--will be driven out by this Thy light.
The Evil One sees in me no wickedness that did not come from him, for it is because of him that I have become wicked. I am, however, conquered by him through my own free will. The Evil One has entangled me because I myself instructed him to do so.
The slothful and the timid run from Thy yoke; Thy love shames the negligent.
Praise be to Thy goodness, to that mother of all teachers. The blows that they deliver to bring the stubborn to their senses are perhaps quite painful, yet sympathetically do they offer healing to the penitent.
Worthy of veneration are Thy Father and Thy Holy Spirit, Who rejoices at our return!
64
Blessed is he who has become magnanimous and kindhearted and not enslaved himself to untamed vehemence or wicked wrath; he will be magnified by the Lord.
Blessed is he who has been exalted in love and stands like a city built on a mountaintop, for whom the enemy withdraws with terror when he sees him; for he fears a man who is firm in the Lord.
Blessed is he who has shone forth with faith in the Lord like a bright candle on a tall candlestick, and has illumined the souls of those in darkness who followed the teachings of the faithless and the irreverent.
Blessed is he who ever loves truth and does not let his lips arm dishonor with lies, for he fears the commandment that forbids even idle talk.
Blessed is he who does not foolishly judge his neighbor, but rather, as befits a reasonable, spiritual man, tries first to cast out the beam from his own eye.
Blessed is he who has consciously exercised restraint, and who has never been seduced, neither in thought nor in his senses, by skin and flesh which soon pass and putrefy.
Blessed is he who keeps the day of his departure ever before his eyes, and has learned to hate arrogance before our inherent worthlessness is to be revealed by putrefaction in the grave.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
A Spiritual Psalter from the works of our Holy Father Ephraim the Syrian
57
If you have not yet become mightily inflamed with the Holy Spirit, avoid listening to the thoughts of others, that what you hear might not arouse passions not yet dead and pervert your soul.
If you are an ardent reader, seek not brilliant and erudite texts; otherwise the demon of haughtiness will strike your heart. But like a wise bee that gathers honey from flowers, through your reading obtain also healing for your soul.
Blessed is he who preaches virtue by means of his deeds. But if you say something that pertains to virtue, but do the opposite, this will not save you.
When you see people dissipated in acts of unclean love, look not at them in amazement, that you might not be seduced by rosy skin which will soon turn to dust. Rather sigh to yourself and cry out: Remember, O Lord, that we are dust--and God's grace will prevent you from becoming a prisoner of the Evil One.
Pray diligently to the Lord, that He might grant you the spirit of perfect chastity, that even as you dream at night you might evade the wiles of the Evil One as a person runs when he sees a wild beast chasing after him; or as a man whose pursuer carries a burning torch runs from room to room, that the fire might not burn him.
Just as one cannot buy education or artistic skills for any price without working at it, so one cannot attain the habit of exercising the virtues without zeal and diligence.
Just as your head takes priority over all other members of your body, and if a stone, stick or sword is aimed at you, you raise other members of your body to deflect the blow from your head, knowing that you cannot live in this life without your head--so may you give priority over all things to faith in the Holy Trinity Which is One in essence, for without this faith no one can live the true life.
With all your heart hope on the Lord, and you will easily evade the wiles of the wicked one, for the Lord does not forsake those who work for Him.
58
With the eyes of my heart have I seen the Lord sitting in great glory and I seemed to hear Him say to my soul: how can it be, O soul, that thou hast found thy heavenly bridal chamber, filled with the light of glory, abhorrent? How can it be that thou wast repelled by the good things that I have prepared for thee in the land of life? How can it be that thou hast become alienated from Me through indecent deeds and thoughts? How can it be that thou carest not to prepare thyself to stand worthily before Me in MY coming? How can it be that thou dost not keep thy lamp ready in expectation of the call: Behold, the bridegroom cometh--so that thou mightest go out to meet Me with joy? How can it be that thou takest no pains to prepare a proper wedding garment? How can it be that thou dost not prepare thyself to enter with joy into the holy, heavenly bridal chamber? How can it be that thou dost not join thyself to Me, Who have redeemed thee from death?
I have partaken of death in order to prepare thee as My bride. I have prepared the eternal kingdom for thee as an inheritance. All My good things have I, as the King, bestowed upon thee. For thy sake I even became a man, for I desired to redeem thy life from corruption. For thee have i prepared a bridal chamber in the heavens and arranged for the angels to lead thee into that bridal chamber, that though mightest enter therein with joy.
Yet hast thou turned away from me, from thy Groom, and from the ineffable good things that I have prepared fro thee.
But who is more desirable than I, Who save all creation through My compassion? What father gives life as I do? Yet thou hast left Me, O soul, and loved another, a despicable stranger.
Who would not begin to tremble in terror upon hearing these words?
Who would not fall down ashamed, shed tears and cry out: for what purpose did I come forth from my mother's womb--to anger the Good, Holy and kindhearted God?
But, O Lord, grant that we may be sobered and detach ourselves es from vain cares, that we may come to our senses and return to Thee, in Whom alone lies all true good for our sake.
59
Hearken, O Master, unto my lamentation, and receive the words of my prayer, which I, a sinner, bring to Thee, Who art longsuffering and all-merciful.
Do not with me according to my deeds; remember not my great transgressions, by which I have embittered Thy grace exceedingly, O all-good Master.
Thy grace endured the sins of my youth, which were great in number. May it endure also my indiscretion, heedlessness, and carelessness.
By Thy compassion hast Thou vowed, O Master and Lover of men, that Thou desirest not the death of a sinner, but that he should return to Thee and live. By Thy compassion mayest Thou be moved to have mercy and compassion also on me who am a sinner.
Behold, O Christ our Savior, the fountains of my tears, the contrition and sighs of my unworthy soul! May thy mercy come and shelter me before the terrible verdict of death finds me unprepared and ashamed.
May Thy grace grant me some time for true repentance. For thy grace is wont to have mercy on every sinner who sheds tears, and to forgive him all the sins he has committed. Do this, that I too might bring Thee the fruit of repentance.
Draw me toward life and save me. Grant that with a pure heart I might serve Thee all the days of my life and that, having pleased Thee well with good deeds, I might be vouchsafed both to pass through this life and to enter into the eternal bliss which Thou hast prepared for all Thy saints who have pleased Thee in every generation.
60
O Virgin Lady and Mother of God, thou who didst bear Christ our Savior and God in thy womb, I place all my hope on thee; in thee do I trust, for thou art higher than all the powers of heaven. Thou, who art All-Pure, protect me by thine all-powerful prayers.
Direct my life and lead me on the path indicated by the holy will of thy Son and our God.
Grant me remission of sins, be to me a refuge, a protection, a defense, and a directress, guiding me along the path to eternal life.
Do not leave me in the terrible hour of death, O my Lady, but rush to my aid, rescue me from the bitter torments of the demons. For if thou so choosest, thou hast the power to do this, for thou art truly the Mother of God who reignest over all.
Cease not to pray for all of us, thine unworthy servants, that we might be delivered from all the wiles of the Evil One and from all extremity, and that we might remain unwounded by all his venomous attacks.
Preserve us uncondemned to the end by thy prayers that, saved by thy help and intercession, we might forever send up glory, praise, thanks and honor to the One God in Trinity, to the Creator of all.
If you have not yet become mightily inflamed with the Holy Spirit, avoid listening to the thoughts of others, that what you hear might not arouse passions not yet dead and pervert your soul.
If you are an ardent reader, seek not brilliant and erudite texts; otherwise the demon of haughtiness will strike your heart. But like a wise bee that gathers honey from flowers, through your reading obtain also healing for your soul.
Blessed is he who preaches virtue by means of his deeds. But if you say something that pertains to virtue, but do the opposite, this will not save you.
When you see people dissipated in acts of unclean love, look not at them in amazement, that you might not be seduced by rosy skin which will soon turn to dust. Rather sigh to yourself and cry out: Remember, O Lord, that we are dust--and God's grace will prevent you from becoming a prisoner of the Evil One.
Pray diligently to the Lord, that He might grant you the spirit of perfect chastity, that even as you dream at night you might evade the wiles of the Evil One as a person runs when he sees a wild beast chasing after him; or as a man whose pursuer carries a burning torch runs from room to room, that the fire might not burn him.
Just as one cannot buy education or artistic skills for any price without working at it, so one cannot attain the habit of exercising the virtues without zeal and diligence.
Just as your head takes priority over all other members of your body, and if a stone, stick or sword is aimed at you, you raise other members of your body to deflect the blow from your head, knowing that you cannot live in this life without your head--so may you give priority over all things to faith in the Holy Trinity Which is One in essence, for without this faith no one can live the true life.
With all your heart hope on the Lord, and you will easily evade the wiles of the wicked one, for the Lord does not forsake those who work for Him.
58
With the eyes of my heart have I seen the Lord sitting in great glory and I seemed to hear Him say to my soul: how can it be, O soul, that thou hast found thy heavenly bridal chamber, filled with the light of glory, abhorrent? How can it be that thou wast repelled by the good things that I have prepared for thee in the land of life? How can it be that thou hast become alienated from Me through indecent deeds and thoughts? How can it be that thou carest not to prepare thyself to stand worthily before Me in MY coming? How can it be that thou dost not keep thy lamp ready in expectation of the call: Behold, the bridegroom cometh--so that thou mightest go out to meet Me with joy? How can it be that thou takest no pains to prepare a proper wedding garment? How can it be that thou dost not prepare thyself to enter with joy into the holy, heavenly bridal chamber? How can it be that thou dost not join thyself to Me, Who have redeemed thee from death?
I have partaken of death in order to prepare thee as My bride. I have prepared the eternal kingdom for thee as an inheritance. All My good things have I, as the King, bestowed upon thee. For thy sake I even became a man, for I desired to redeem thy life from corruption. For thee have i prepared a bridal chamber in the heavens and arranged for the angels to lead thee into that bridal chamber, that though mightest enter therein with joy.
Yet hast thou turned away from me, from thy Groom, and from the ineffable good things that I have prepared fro thee.
But who is more desirable than I, Who save all creation through My compassion? What father gives life as I do? Yet thou hast left Me, O soul, and loved another, a despicable stranger.
Who would not begin to tremble in terror upon hearing these words?
Who would not fall down ashamed, shed tears and cry out: for what purpose did I come forth from my mother's womb--to anger the Good, Holy and kindhearted God?
But, O Lord, grant that we may be sobered and detach ourselves es from vain cares, that we may come to our senses and return to Thee, in Whom alone lies all true good for our sake.
59
Hearken, O Master, unto my lamentation, and receive the words of my prayer, which I, a sinner, bring to Thee, Who art longsuffering and all-merciful.
Do not with me according to my deeds; remember not my great transgressions, by which I have embittered Thy grace exceedingly, O all-good Master.
Thy grace endured the sins of my youth, which were great in number. May it endure also my indiscretion, heedlessness, and carelessness.
By Thy compassion hast Thou vowed, O Master and Lover of men, that Thou desirest not the death of a sinner, but that he should return to Thee and live. By Thy compassion mayest Thou be moved to have mercy and compassion also on me who am a sinner.
Behold, O Christ our Savior, the fountains of my tears, the contrition and sighs of my unworthy soul! May thy mercy come and shelter me before the terrible verdict of death finds me unprepared and ashamed.
May Thy grace grant me some time for true repentance. For thy grace is wont to have mercy on every sinner who sheds tears, and to forgive him all the sins he has committed. Do this, that I too might bring Thee the fruit of repentance.
Draw me toward life and save me. Grant that with a pure heart I might serve Thee all the days of my life and that, having pleased Thee well with good deeds, I might be vouchsafed both to pass through this life and to enter into the eternal bliss which Thou hast prepared for all Thy saints who have pleased Thee in every generation.
60
O Virgin Lady and Mother of God, thou who didst bear Christ our Savior and God in thy womb, I place all my hope on thee; in thee do I trust, for thou art higher than all the powers of heaven. Thou, who art All-Pure, protect me by thine all-powerful prayers.
Direct my life and lead me on the path indicated by the holy will of thy Son and our God.
Grant me remission of sins, be to me a refuge, a protection, a defense, and a directress, guiding me along the path to eternal life.
Do not leave me in the terrible hour of death, O my Lady, but rush to my aid, rescue me from the bitter torments of the demons. For if thou so choosest, thou hast the power to do this, for thou art truly the Mother of God who reignest over all.
Cease not to pray for all of us, thine unworthy servants, that we might be delivered from all the wiles of the Evil One and from all extremity, and that we might remain unwounded by all his venomous attacks.
Preserve us uncondemned to the end by thy prayers that, saved by thy help and intercession, we might forever send up glory, praise, thanks and honor to the One God in Trinity, to the Creator of all.
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